Chewing Snow

Hey! Guess who? IT'S ME, DUSTIN!!!

Alright, a certain amount of the element of surprise is basically obsolete on E-mail. This is my biggest problem with E-mail. That, and the fact that you can't send packages through it. And believe me, I've tried!! Though they did figure out a way to send germs through the internet, so right now, as you read this, though you may not notice it, and some of you may not be affected, you are all contracting the elusive Screaming Cricket virus OF DEATH!!! Some assembly required. I'm in a rather weird mood today. Maybe it's this weather. Or maybe it's the fact that I don't sleep during the weekdays. Or maybe the pink dye from my hat is finally seeping into my brain. But anyway, just don't be too surprised if you wake up the day after reading this rubbing your legs together and playing the Pina Colada Song as sung by the Boss-Tones until Doug is standing over your bed threatening to kill you with a baseball bat. Alright, I'm going to cue up this quote before I lose the rest of my viewing audience.

Yesterday at lunch, John started chewing on an ice cube, to which I asked him if he was sexually frustrated, because there's a myth that says that one who is sexually frustrated chews on ice cubes (I'm not making this up, either). Well, John apparently disagrees with this theory:


Quote Of the Day 4/11

"That's so stupid. What about chewing gum?... Or what about if I chew snow? Does that mean I want to jerk off?"
-Tonto Sleepyhead



The soup nazi,
Screaming Cricket.