Double Feature Duel (Rd4): Rise of the Planet of the Apes vs. The Bucket List

Double Feature Duel (Rd4):
Rise of the Planet of the Apes vs. The Bucket List

Bucket List may have had the easiest road to the Elite 8 in the tournament. It gets a lot harder now.

Title: I really wanted to see Bucket List before I died [joke recycled from last MvM]. (Point, Bucket 0-1)

Funnier: Jack Nicholson goes potty humor. Nice. (Point, Bucket 0-2)

Better Turn: Best turn of the tournament. And I don’t say that lightly. (Point, Rise 1-2)

Better Ending: There was a lot going on at the end of Rise. And all of it was good to awesome. (Point, Rise 2-2)

Better Message: Both of these had decent messages to convey, but I think Bucket’s was more poignant, where Rise’s was more gratuitous. (Point, Bucket 2-3)

Better Acting: It takes a lot to knock down Morgan and Jack. But Golem dressed up like a monkey is just the guy to do it. (Point, Rise 3-3)

More Creative: Saving ink. Even in the Elite 8. (Point, Rise 4-3)

Poster: Haunting. (Point, Rise 5-3)

Watch again: Once again, it’s one of two DVDs I have from Netflix right now. And I just told Tony tonight that he has to watch it. (Point, Rise 6-3)

Overall: Well, it was a fun run, guys. But just like in the movie, Apes triumph over humans. Winner: Rise of the Planet of the Apes (6-3)

Double Feature Duel (Rd3): The Man Who Wasn’t There vs. Bucket List

Double Feature Duel (Rd3):
The Man Who Wasn’t There vs. Bucket List

After beating a 7-bug and a 6.5-bug movie, the 4-bug Coen Brothers film is up against another 6.5-bugger. Will the dream die here or live on to the Elite 8?

Title: The Man Who Wasn’t There. Where was he? Who was there? Why wasn’t he there and should he have been? So many questions is just the title. (Point, Man 1-0)

Funnier: (Point, Bucket 1-1)

Better Turn: This is where Man usually makes its move. (Point, Man 2-1)

Better Ending: Truth be told, I had to struggle to stay awake to the end of Man. Bucket List had a fun message at the end and a fun twist at the very end. (Point, Bucket 2-2)

Better Message: In addition to the obvious messages about living life to its fullest, there is a message in there about friendship and classism. Much more than the jumbled mess Man presented us with. (Point, Bucket 2-3)

Better Acting: I will love Tony Shaloub unitl I die, but he’s up against 4 Oscars, and Brian Haley isn’t going to help enough. (Point, Bucket 2-4)

More Creative: Not much to Bucket’s plot, though it had its moments of creative spark. But it wasn’t the period piece mood-setting triumph that Man was. (Point, Man 3-4)

Poster: I guess I should like it more for its simplicity, but I just don’t. (Point, Man 4-4)

Watch again: And finally, it met its match. I guess it’s just got a good set of characteristics for this game, though not enough to get to the Elite 8. (Point, Bucket 4-5)

Overall: Okey dokey. Glad that’s finally over. Hell, even Tim Tebow won a playoff game. Winner: Bucket List (5-4)

Double Feature Duel (Rd2): Bucket List vs. Platoon

Double Feature Duel (Rd2):
Bucket List vs. Platoon

Can Oliver Stone’s signature film take out two Jack Nicholson movies in a row?

Title: Whether the word “platoon” was a big part of our culture or not before the movie came out is somewhat irrelevant because the movie now pretty much owns the word. (Point, Platoon 0-1)

Funnier: Saving time and ink. Not that anyone is going to print this out. (Point, Bucket List 1-1)

Better Turn: Getting terminal cancel and deciding to go skydiving was a great turn, but it’s up against the brutal and unpredictable murder of a fellow platoon member. (Point, Platoon 1-2)

Better Ending: Surprisingly charming and thoughtful for a movie I thought would have just been a collection of funny scenes with old guys. (Point, Bucket List 2-2)

Better Message: Since you’re alive, you may as well live. (Point, Bucket List 3-2)

Better Acting: Four Oscars go up against a talented cast with only one Oscar. No, not Tom Beringer, Willem Dafoe, Johnny Depp or even Charlie Sheen. Forest Whitaker. Yeah, talented cast. But not as talented. (Point, Bucket List 4-2)

More Creative: Oliver Stone forced his cast to sleep out in the jungle working 18-hour days to try to replicate the mood of war. I’ll give him his due credit. (Point, Platoon 4-3)

Poster: Platoon had not one, but two iconic posters to choose from. Which certainly beats a picture of a half smiling Nicholson and Freeman. (Point, Platoon 4-4)

Watch again: I really want to see Bucket List one more time before I die. (Point, Bucket List 5-4)

Overall: Well, Nicholson gets his revenge against the movie that knocked out About Schmidt. Can they stop the biggest Cinderella of the tournament next round? Winner: Bucket List (5-4)

Double Feature Duel: The Good Shepherd vs. Bucket List

Double Feature Duel:
The Good Shepherd vs. Bucket List

Bout #23: I really wanted to see Bucket List before I died.

The Good Shepherd: You have to earn a 2 and a half hour long running time. Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, movies that you could convincingly put the word “epic” in front of. This was a waste of at least 2:30 of that 2:40 running time. 1 bug

Bucket List: There weren’t many surprises. I knew what I was getting into when I plugged it in. And I have heard of the two main actors before and assumed they’d do a serviceable job. Well, they did. And yes it was cheesy, and yes it was formulaic, and yes it was awkwardly paced, but it was touching and real when it needed to be. And it sprinkled some real pieces of philosophy into the gratuitous skydiving and car racing scenes. 6.5 bugs.

Title: What the hell is this guy shepherding? There were no sheep anywhere. And it wasn’t a religious metaphor either. At least I doubted. I stopped paying attention two and a half fucking hours into the movie. (Point, Bucket List 0-1)

Funnier: I’m so used to thinking about Jack Nicholson in terms of A Few Good Men and The Shining that I forget how funny he can be when he wants to be. And John Turturro actually said that Matt Damon had no sense of humor. The same could have been said about the movie. (Point, Bucket List 0-2)

Better Turn: I just forced myself to try to recall what might have been the turn in The Good Shepherd, which I just saw last night, for the last 30 seconds. I farted twice and my eye won’t stop twitching. I’m taking that as a sign. (Point, Bucket List 0-3)

Better Ending: I can remember the ending of the Good Shepherd. It still sucked, but it was memorable. But not worth a point. (Point, Bucket List 0-4)

Better Message: I’m guessing there was a message in there somewhere about loyalty to one’s country or one’s family and what is more important. Kinda like the first season of 24. Only, this movie felt like it took longer to watch. (Point, Bucket List 0-5)

Better Acting: I can’t believe so many big time people were involved with this stupid movie. Damon and Angelina – even Alec Baldwin, Timothy Hutton and DeNiro himself totaled about 13 minutes of screen time. And Joe Pesci popped into a scene 2:04 into the movie. I guess everybody wanted to be a part of Bobby DeNiro’s directing debut. Shame he didn’t get an editor with some balls. (Point, Bucket List 0-6)

More Creative: Creativity is not Bucket List’s strong suit. But it doesn’t take much to beat The Good Shepherd in any category. (Point, Bucket List 0-7)

Poster: “The best spy movie ever” – Larry King. It may as well have said “Larry King wants to beat off Robert DeNiro.” And DeNiro is on the cover, despite his less than 10 minutes of screen time. The fact that there’s not a slogan trying to convince me that The Good Shepherd is a good movie is enough to give Bucket List a point. (Point, Bucket List 0-8)

Watch again: Honestly, I almost want to watch The Good Shepherd again, just to make sure I didn’t miss anything, because I really didn’t get anything. But it’s over two and a half hours. Maybe if they edit it down to a 43 minute version, I’ll watch it again someday. (Point, Bucket List 0-9)

Overall: Well, you’d think Bucket List is my favorite movie after seeing this score. Truth is that some of my Intro to Video student final projects could have put up a perfect score against that other travesty of a movie. Winner: Bucket List (9-0)