Double Feature Duel (Final Four): Big Fish vs. The Nines

Double Feature Duel (Final Four):
Big Fish vs. The Nines

The first matchup of the Final Four pits one of my Top Five (and a Father’s Day tradition) against a movie I didn’t even know about but now tell everyone to go see.

Title: The Nines isn’t particularly sharp in this category to begin with and it’s going up against a movie named after one of my nicknames. Tough break, newbie. Maybe Achilles would have had a better shot. (Point, Big Fish 1-0)

Funnier: The Nines was definitely not without humor, but that wasn’t its forte. Big Fish wasn’t exactly a laugh-out-loud production either, but the mood it set definitely tricked me into thinking it was humorous. (Point, Big Fish 2-0)

Better Turn: It’s tough to diagnose a movie’s turn when it’s shot as three vignettes. But this one was kinda easy. It was the end of the first vignette, which produced the first “What the hell?!” moment of the movie. And it definitely brought the audience into the second act. (Point, The Nines 2-1)

Better Ending: I almost started typing “Far and away, the better ending belongs to Big Fish” until I started thinking about The Nines. And it was worth a thought, but there’s a reason I watch Big Fish every year on Father’s Day. And there’s a reason I cry every year too. (Point, Big Fish 3-1)

Better Message: The Nines certainly posed an intriguing question about the nature of creation and thus, God. And though I love the Living Years message played out in Tim Burton’s head, I have to give the philosophical nod to the newbie. (Point, The Nines 3-2)

Better Acting: I do love me some Ryan Reynolds. But I also love me some Ewan McGregor. I also love Albert Finney. But I love Melissa McCarthy too. And then there’s Elle Fanning. But also Marion Cottiliard. This one is tough. And looking ahead, possibly game-changing. And I’m going to have to give it to The Nines. Despite the strange world Big Fish convinced us to believe in, The Nines gave us three different worlds, each of them different and superbly acted. (Point, The Nines 3-3)

Poster: Big Fish. In a landslide. (Point, Big Fish 4-3)

Watch again: The Nines. In a slightly smaller and less horrific landslide. (Point, The Nines 4-4)

More Creative: It all comes down to this. Which is more creative? They’re both top 5 percentile in creativity for sure. Big Fish has two worlds, one very real and based in fact and one very fantastic and based in story. The Nines shows us three vignettes and threads them together to question the nature of what it is to be a God. I haven’t seen either of these things taken to the extent these movies have brought it to. It could really go either way on any given day. But right now, if I had to pitch these two movies in 50 words or less, I’d lean toward the three vignettes spelling out the narrative of creation. (Point, The Nines 4-5)

Overall: It was the battle to the end we all hoped it would be and it came down to a category near and dear to my heart. And even that was a tough decision, especially considering what was on the line. Congrats, newbie. You have earned the respect of many today. Winner: The Nines (5-4)

Double Feature Duel: The Final Four Begins

Double Feature Duel:
The Final Four Begins

So there’s definitely an underdog but not necessarily a clear favorite. Of the three favorites, Big Fish has the distinction of being the only 10+ bug film at 10.5 and also carries with it a tradition (I watch it every year for Father’s Day) and the distinction of being occasionally called my favorite movie, and always one of my Top Five. Also, I had seen it before. Both The Nines and Rise of the Planet of the Apes were first-time views, though both got a 10-bug rating. I’ve also seen Rise of POTA another time since the first view because I like to make Jenn watch things I know she’ll hate I really enjoy. And then there’s the misfit Super 8 that has some sort of magic formula to keep winning this game. Like George Mason of 2006. And no, there was no storybook ending for them. And they were quite boring to watch actually. But anyway, let’s take a look at the paths of these movies before we get stated.

Big Fish (10.5): This movie won the Philadelphia Quadrant, which had the highest QBA (Quadrant Bug Average) of 6.31. It easily shut out the atrocious Storytelling and dodged An Inconvenient Truth with a little help from narrative-favored criteria. It shut down Body of Lies in the Sweet 16 and barely escaped with a one-point victory over Stranger Than Fiction, outscoring its first four opponents 27-9. Of the 9 points it lost, 3 of them were strangely in the category of “Watch Again,” which probably speaks to the fact that I watch this movie a lot. The other 6 points were in 6 different categories and the only two categories it won every time were “Best Ending” and “Most Creative.” It’s also due to get watched again in 2 months.

The Nines (10): This movie won the Baltimore Quadrant with a QBA of 5.94. This movie had by far the toughest road to the Final Four, having defeated (in order) Cars, The Cove, Planet of the Apes (1968) and Source Code, who had an average bug rating of 8. It was beaten 3 times in the “Poster” category but undefeated in “Better Acting” and “Watch Again,” the latter of which happens to be its next opponent’s biggest flaw. I think I see one point already.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (10): This movie didn’t really see too much resistance on the way here, having its toughest match against a 7-bug Definitely, Maybe, thought this was indicative of the Cincinnati Quadrant, which was the only one to come in below average (4.91). It shut out the battle of the Planet of the Apes movies by shutting out the Battle of the Planet of the Apes in the second round. And it also got behind 0-2 in all other three matches by losing the “Title” and “Funnier” categories. It only lost 2 total other points – “Acting” to Definitely, Maybe and “Message” to Bucket List. It remained undefeated in the other 5 categories.

Super 8 (7): Proof that anything can happen. It took care of the top half of the DC Quadrant (which had an overall QBA of 5.44), beating a 3.5 (Pirates of the Caribbean 4) and two other 7s (Swimming to Cambodia and It’s a Wonderful Life). Meanwhile, the bottom of the bracket was doing battle with each other with 4 movies of an 8.5 or above and eventually put Midnight in Paris up to face Super 8. Somehow, Super 8 managed to squeak out four victories, despite never scoring more than 6 points. It lost every single “Best Ending” and “Better Message” point, but won all “Title,” “Better Turn” and “Poster” points. It has its strengths, I’ll give you that.

And now it’s time to get the Final Four underway. Can Super 8 do what George Mason couldn’t? Or will Big Fish finish its #1 overall seed Kentucky-style? Or will one of the two surprise new 10-buggers take it all? Tip-off in approximately 24 hours.

Double Feature Duel (Rd4): Stranger Than Fiction vs. Big Fish

Double Feature Duel (Rd4):
Stranger Than Fiction vs. Big Fish

And in the No Surprises Here department, feast on the battle between two of the best movies I’ve ever seen. All bets are now final. And soon, a movie that I saw two months ago will be in the Final Four. I know. The system isn’t perfect.

Title: The decisions are already hard. I need to employ a panel of other people for the finals. I feel numb to these answers after the fourth time. Or I need to get drunk. But I’ve got to go with Stranger Than Fiction, despite Big Fish being one of my nicknames. Maybe people will start calling me Stranger Than Fiction. God willing. (Point, Stranger 1-0)

Funnier: See, Big Fish wasn’t really funny per se. It set a mood that was funny-like. And it was awesome. But not funny when compared to Stranger Than Fiction’s actual funny. (Point, Stranger 2-0)

Better Turn: When people ask what my favorite movie is, I say Memento. And then shortly after that, I say a close second is Frequency. BUT – after that – I mention Big Fish. Maybe after Back to the Future. Depends on the day. But the scene where Will Ferrell finds out he’s going to die just kicks you in the nuts. In a good way. Uh-oh. (Point, Stranger 3-0)

Better Ending: Yay! Here’s a point! It’s a shame Stranger couldn’t find a better ending. But it till wouldn’t have held a candle to Big Fish. Whatever the hell that means. (Point, Big Fish 3-1)

Better Message: Some movies are awesome despite the lack of meaning. Stranger Than Fiction is sucha movie. (Point, Big Fish 3-2)

Better Acting: I’m not the kind of guy to call a category a tie. Because that’s spineless and lazy. So what do I do here? I adore Will Ferrell and Dustin Hoffman, but there’s such a great dynamic from two distinctly different film genres. I’ll go with Big Fish for the degree of difficulty. There were characters distinct to one or the other (Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney), but some who also played in both (Helena Bonham Carter, really no one else) – and that’s good enough for now. (Point, Big Fish 3-3)

Poster: And the winner of the Big Fish award goes to… (Point, Big Fish 3-4)

Watch again: This category definitely does not favor movies I watch a lot. I watch Big Fish at least once a year and though I watched Stranger Than Fiction twice when I had it, it was so long ago now that I would like to see it again. And so it’s down to the last minute. Best of luck. (Point, Stranger 4-4)

More Creative: And it’s another toss up. I haven’t seen a movie like either of these to say “Hey, this movie is like [movie name], but with less annoying [adjective describing movie].” I’m leaning toward Big Fish because I love the movie and I know this is the deciding point, but I want to give Stranger its fair shake. So I’ve decided to employ a tactic I only resort to in emergencies. I asked Jenn. She said that the world that Big Fish created which drove the movie’s humor was enough for her. And that’s enough for me. Which better be enough for you. (Point, Big Fish 4-5)

Overall: Well that wraps up the Philadelphia Quadrant. And despite falling behind early in the game, the #1 seed came out alive. A valiant attempt by Stranger, but maybe we’ll find a bracket buster in the next quadrant.

Double Feature Duel (Rd3): Body of Lies vs. Big Fish

Double Feature Duel (Rd3):
Body of Lies vs. Big Fish

Who the hell did Body of Lies sleep with to get this far?

Title: Body of Lies is a serviceable title, but I picture a bunch of people sitting around a table going “well, I guess that’ll work” as opposed to “That’s perfect!” (Point, Big Fish 0-1)

Funnier: Neither is really a comedy, per se, but especially not Body of Lies. (Point, Big Fish 0-2)

Better Turn: To be completely honest, I barely remember Body of Lies anymore. (Point, Big Fish 0-3)

Better Ending: And even if I could, there’s very little way any movie outside of Frequency and Sixth Sense would beat Big Fish in this category. (Point, Big Fish 0-4)

Better Message: Ever feel like you were just going through the motions? Yeah, me too. (Point, Big Fish 0-5)

Better Acting: There are now 10 Best Picture nominees each year, but only 5 Best Director nominees. We all know those other five movies will never win, but it’s nice that the Academy recognized them. That’s the motivation behind this. (Point, Body of Lies 1-5)

More Creative: Tim Burton is nothing if not creative. This movie happens to also be good, which is not necessarily true of all his crap. (Point, Big Fish 1-6)

Poster: Make this an 0 for 3 for Body of Lies’ marketing department. (Point, Big Fish 1-7)

Watch again: I will honestly say that I’d probably watch Body of Lies right now. Mainly because I’ve realized that I don’t remember a damn thing about it, but it appears the me from 2 months ago really enjoyed it. (Point, Body of Lies 2-7)

Overall: Not surprising. I’m curious to see if there will be a bigger underdog to get to the Sweet 16 in the other quadrants.

Double Feature Duel (Rd2): Big Fish vs. An Inconvenient Truth

Double Feature Duel (Rd2):
Big Fish vs. An Inconvenient Truth

An Inconvenient Truth was actually a good movie. Who knows? Maybe they’re the Northern Iowa of my little tournament.

Title: Tough one! These are both really good and subtle plays on words. But Big Fish is one of my nicknames. Damn. They’re even getting the lucky bounces. (Point, Big Fish 1-0)

Funnier: Admittedly, the powerpoint was not without some humor, but a movie reenacting a PPT presentation in a lecture hall should be automatically disqualified from this category. (Point, Big Fish 2-0)

Better Turn: Sorry, documentary. You tried. (Point, Big Fish 3-0)

Better Ending: Yeah, it’s almost time to call the fight. (Point, Big Fish 4-0)

Better Message: Hold on! Don’t throw in the towel just yet! This category could be called the Inconvenient Truth category. I took the train for a week. I thought about getting a bike. I went to my mechanic the same day that my muffler fell off my car. It’s already working. (Point, An Inconvenient Truth 4-1)

Poster: Two good posters to match the titles. But as cool as the Tim Burton tree is, the smokestacks billowing out a hurricane is a great, poignant metaphor. Also love the “By far the most terrifying movie you will ever see” tagline. (Point, An Inconvenient Truth 4-2)

Better Acting: OK. We didn’t really think they were gonna come back, right? There was just too much gore (in the spirit of the movie, I recycled that joke). (Point, Big Fish 5-2)

More Creative: Not just a documentary. But a documentary of a PPT. (Point, Big Fish 6-2)

Watch again: Tough one. I watch Big Fish all the time, but I’d kinda like to see An Inconvenient Truth again to really get it all. Of course, I did that with Inside Job and I think I understood less the second time. What the heck, it doesn’t really matter and I’m not above point shaving for the bookies. (Point, An Inconvenient Truth 6-3)

Overall: No Northern Iowa in the Philadelphia Bracket. Of course, Body of Lies did get to the Sweet 16 at a 7 bug rating. But that was like the NFC West. Somebody’s got to win it.

Double Feature Duel: Storytelling vs. Big Fish

Double Feature Duel:
Storytelling vs. Big Fish

Bout #7: A boring old forgotten movie I took a chance on vs. a movie admittedly in my All Time Top 5 that I watch every Fathers Day. OK, let’s get this over with.

Title: This might be Storytelling’s greatest strength. It’s why I decided to waste a week of my Netflix subscription, especially since I’ve gotten into storytelling both on stage and in my memoir classes. But Big Fish is such a great metaphor in this story. And one of my nicknames. Point, Big Fish (0-1)

Funnier: There was an amusing scene with an obviously socially awkward Paul Giamatti on the phone leaving a girl a message in Storytelling that I wrote over and over for 10 years straight, but Big Fish had a triumph of mood, which made the entire story just fun. And there was Albert Finney. Point, Big Fish (0-2)

Better Turn: Storytelling is shot as two vignettes, “Fiction” and “Non-fiction,” the latter being about twice as long and half as interesting as the former. The turns taken separately were interesting enough, (especially the Selma Blair sex scene), but seeing Will Bloom find out that some of his dad’s stories may have actually been true is a real way to get the audience into the second act. Point, Big Fish (0-3)

Better Ending: Please. The son having to indulge his father by telling his own story, finally endearing him to his father is still a moment I cry at every year. And the epilogue with the funeral scene where he saw that all the stories his father told weren’t necessarily all lies made him finally understand his father. I can’t speak enough for the end of this movie. Oh, and Storytelling had an ending too. Point, Big Fish (0-4)

Better Message: You can afford to give a little to try to ease the inherent tension created by a generation gap – not to mention conflicting personalities – in families. There was a line in Storytelling where the teacher of the fiction writing class said “Once you start writing, it’s all fiction.” This may have touched me as a Creative Writing student. If it weren’t complete bullshit. Instead, it pissed me off. Point, Big Fish (0-5)

Better Acting: Ewan McGregor, Golden Globe nominee. Helena Bonham Carter, 2-time Oscar nominee. Albert Finney, 5-time Oscar nominee. Marion Cotillard, Oscar winner. Jessica Lange, 2-time Oscar winner. And sprinkle a little Steve Buscemi and Danny DeVito on top for flavor. Oh, and garnish with Robert Guillaume and his two Emmys. Sorry Paul, you’re losing another acting point here. Point, Big Fish (0-6)

More Creative: There are not many movies that can beat Big Fish here for several reasons. The mere world created by the flashbacks with the Ewan McGregor character is enough to win most creative in about any fight. But add in the present day Billy Crudup trying to reconcile the truth with Albert Finney amidst these flashbacks is brilliant, or at least brilliantly done. Point, Big Fish (0-7)

Poster: I lied. The title isn’t Storytelling’s greatest strength. A group of college age students looking up at a book four times their size with the single word “Storytelling” on it was compelling enough for me to want to see it. BUT, Big Fish has trees growing out of the dynamically shaped words themselves as if they were trees. The poster is very Tim Burton-on-his-best-day beautiful and already puts you in the mood the story will soon create. Point, Big Fish (0-8)

Watch again: Yeah, it’s a clean sweep as I predicted. Point, Big Fish (0-9)

Overall: If there was a 1 vs 16 game in this bracket, this was it. And Duke just did to Coppin State what you would figure. Bug scale: Big Fish – 10.5, Storytelling – 2.5.