Monday, March 27, 2006

Lingerie for the Feminist

Lingerie for the Feminist

Holy crap. Lots has happened in the last however long it's been. First of all, this past March 3rd was the 11 year anniversary of the quote of the day. That's right, I've been doing this since I was 12 (maybe in metric years). And I want to do something cool for the anniversary, but I made a promise to a certain cutie back in Maryland that I would send something out tonight and frankly, I don't have time for cool. I have time for this.

I dated a feminist for about two weeks since we've last spoke. I have since decided that was never a good idea in the first place. But she wasn't a real feminist anyway. She shopped at Victoria Secret. What kind of self proclaimed feminist who does spoken word poetry from the perspective of a vagina (Ed note: he doesn't even look for red flags anymore) buys lingerie? Who is she buying it for? You know what - forget I asked. A friend of mine who just recently left Paradise Island here for sunny Cleveland was telling us about his wife taking him shopping for lingerie. At first I thought he was the biggest sell-out wus pansy I ever met (he's still close), but then I figured that it made sense after all since he was the target demographic (we hope) for said lingerie. We went on to ask him if he had her try it on there or maybe asked one of the 18-year old cashiers to model it or what. What exactly do you look for when you shop for lingerie?

Quote of the Day 3/27/06


"She would hand me something and ask me what I thought of it and I'd just crumple it and throw it on the floor. 'Looks fine to me, honey, we'll take it.' "

-Jimmy K

That's strangely enough how I shop for lunchmeat.

Just doing the damn thing,

D Rec.


Still Standing Right Here...

Sunday, March 5, 2006

Wishboned

Wishboned

Well, when I originally decided to leave all my friends and family behind on the east coast to move to Fantasy Island , I did it because I wanted to find out more about myself, to see what I was made of. As it turns out, I’m made of tinfoil and yarn. Like I couldn’t have found that out without moving all my crap 600 miles inland. So it looks like I tore my groin again. Or at least pulled it. And not in the fun way (if I’m going to go through the same injuries, I’m going to use the same jokes). This is going to completely ruin my sex life. Now I’m going to have to watch porn sitting down.

Anyway, I just wanted to throw out a quick hitter since I haven’t yapped at you cats in about a month. I’ve actually been working my ass off (another injury I’ll tell you about later) on this special project I’ve been given by my boss’s boss’s boss. But when I asked, he was actually able to grant me more hours in the day so I guess I can’t complain too much. But I really should be getting to bed. I need to squeeze in at least 2 hours sleep if I’m going to be working for 28 hours tomorrow.

Speaking of things ruining my sex life (segue successful), I have serious wardrobe issues. I can only wear the one Aerospace shirt so many times and all the outfits that Steph dressed me in years ago have all gotten lost or stained or I forgot how to match them with other stuff that I have. It was easy, I was told exactly what matched with what and how to wear clothes and when stuff was appropriate and everything. But now I’m trying new stuff out here and it’s tougher to try to fit into this Fantasy Island society also. So I’ve taken to trying some new techniques. I tried wearing this corduroy shirt with jeans and socks with sandals. My sister looks down and asks me if I’m seriously wearing socks with sandals. I tried to tell her that I was going for this “I don’t care what anybody thinks of me” look and how that was going to work for me. She agreed. Kinda…

Quote of the Day 3/5/07

“Yeah, it kinda has this ‘I’m definitely not picking up any chicks tonight’ thing going on.”-Sisfish.

Looks like I’m going to need to tweak that outfit a little bit.

Sitting out the next dance,

Groinless in Ohio.

Still Standing Right Here…