Testing Loyalties

Testing Loyalties

Lord, I understand you work in mysterious ways and far be it for me to question Your method. I understand this is just one of those times when my loyalty is being tested. But I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t question why You would allow Sir Donovan to be traded within the division. I’m not necessarily a religious man, but to me, football is a higher calling. I worship at Our Lady of the NFL every Sunday and pray to the divinity of the Quarterback, Head Coach and Left Tackle.

I am here to ask for a miracle and I know you’ve granted them before. I’ve seen your work come to life in the form of the Immaculate Reception, the Holy Roller and the Music City Miracle. I know you rarely intrude into the business of personnel trades, but I remember back in 2004 when T.O. was a Raven for like 13 hours and then somebody yelled “do-over” and then he was an Eagle. Could you please do that again? I didn’t say anything about Brian Mitchell or James Thrash or even Jeremiah Trotter. But this is testing the boundaries of my loyalty as an Eagle fan living in a Redskin world.

My loyalty, first and foremost, will always be to the Eagles franchise. I believe in their front office and trust in this business move, as painful as it is for me. But I also have an allegiance to #5, as a great guy, despite T.O., Rush Limbaugh and the growing majority of haters in Philadelphia who can’t recognize how good of a player he is because he didn’t win a Superbowl. Philadelphia fans are stupid. On WIP, more than one person volunteered to drive him out of town because they hated him, a man who won more games than everyone but Tom Brady, Brett Favre and Peyton Manning in the last 10 years. And for that ass hole and the legions of morons like him, I hope for the success of Donovan. Because I have an allegiance not only to the Eagles and #5, but also to a good story. And it’s almost worth the success of the Eagles franchise to me just to see those haters eat crow. I’m not saying that I’ll ever cheer against the greatest team in any league that there ever could be, forever and ever, Amen. But when the day comes, depending on how things play out, I know I’ll be tested. I only hope I can stay strong for You.

In preparation, I’ve decided not to eat any solid foods for the next few weeks, as I’ll likely throw up the first day I see him in that burgundy and gold uniform.

EagLLLes

EagLLLes

Alright everybody. Tomorrow is the big day. The day that will shape my attitude for the rest of the year and determine whether or not I sink into a two month bender and wind up in the gutter on the streets of Dundalk somewhere. It's the NFC championship game. And in case you don't follow football, the Eagles will be in it for the fourth year in a row. They lost the last three. I need them to win not as much because I am a fan, but because everybody knows I'm a fan, and there's nothing these Redskins fans at work like more than to tease me about those 3 lost championship games. Nevermind that their team hasn't had a winning season since the 90s. They try to rub in that superbowl they won back in the stone ages where everybody was beating up the Bills. What is the statute of limitations on that anyway? But even more than that, they thrive when the Eagles choke in the NFC championship every year. I can't go to work. Cause they know. They already started printing a shirt with Eagles spelled "EagLLLLes" that Geoff is going to buy for me if they lose again (the four Ls for the four losses - for my slower audience out there). And in the last three years, I think I figured out why there's two weeks between the championship games and the Superbowl. See, the programmers want everybody to watch the Superbowl. And everytime after that damn game, I don't feel like watching football for at least another two weeks. So for the peace and mind of an entire city who has made their temperament known to the sports world, root for the Eagles. To win. Not to lose. And I know some of you out there are jerks and you just thrive on other people's misery, and that's fine. I promise you some juicy stuff about my dating life will follow next week. Just get this damn monkey off our back. Besides, TO will be coming back for the Superbowl if we make it. And wouldn't it be cool to see his next celebration? I think he should raise the PAT net himself. That would be funny. I don't think anybody's done that one yet.

Meanwhile, the Saturday Morning Hero League continues... We go play football on Saturday mornings and go to a bar afterwards. This year, the owner/coach/manager/quarterback of the team decided to replace himself at QB after three seasons with a combined record of somewhere around 7-23. The new guy goes on to look better and get us a pretty decent win. At the bar afterwards, here's what our new fullback had to say...

Quote of the Day 1/17/05

"I finally figured out why I'm not a good quarterback. Because I'm not a quarterback."

-Bowman


Well, I'd been telling him that for years. It's about time somebody started telling it to Chris Redman.

Prying the monkey off the eagle,

Dustin McNabb.


Still Standing Right Here...