Showing posts with label Condomns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Condomns. Show all posts

Monday, March 29, 2010

Save Yourself

Save Yourself

I took a CPR class last week, which caused me to go instantaneously from not being allowed to intervene in a life or death situation to being legally bound to intervene. All it really means is that I will feel more guilty about my inability to jump start someone’s heart from scratch. But in the interest of CYA, I’ll jump through your little hoops, Red Cross.

We were talking about how there is a lot of intimate contact with a CPR victim and Nick, our resident expert, asked of ways that you might be able to protect yourself from disease…


Quote of the Day 3/29/10

“Wear a condom.”

- Clifton Brown

It’s possible he misunderstood the question, but just in case, he’s still on the list of people not allowed to administer CPR to me.

Save yourself,

Dustin.


Still Standing Right Here…

Monday, January 24, 2000

The Jessup Mafia

The Jessup Mafia

Hey. It snowed again. A lot. But just to throw a little wrench into things, it alternated snow, sleet, and rain. So there are a bunch of different layers out there, but ice is at the root of all of them, which makes for much more fun driving. I knew I was going to have problems when I started fishtailing around a corner in my sneakers. Never a good sign. But it does make driving a lot more "fun." I've gotten the controlled fishtail down to a science now. I was passing people on 95 who had skidded out of control into guard rails and were facing the wrong way and what not. Good Joe, wus that he is, asked me to slow down and stop doing donuts on the aforementioned major interstate. He was a little concerned about the aforementioned backwards cars. They just obviously couldn't drive. Modern day Darwinism at work.

There's a cool game a few of us have been playing recently called "Mafia." I'll spare everyone the details, but Russ is really good at guessing who is in the Mafia. I don't understand it. It's like he's been given one talent in his life, and this is it. How unfortunate. But anyway, he's really good at the game. In fact, he's so confident sometimes, that he lays $5 down on the table for anybody to take and says he'll bet that $5 that Julie or whoever is in the mafia. We questioned why just $5 if he was so confident. Then he showed us the glaring emptiness of his wallet with the absence of the dollar bill. Well, the game ended, proving Russ correct again, and he sighed a sigh of relief, picked up his money and said...


Quote Of the Day 1/24/00

"Thank God! Now let's put this money back in my wallet. In fact, let's put it in with this condom where I'm bound to not find it again for a good long while."

-Russel "Mafia Killer" Johnson


That'll really get you in good with a girl. Heat of passion, you pull out a condom and a $5 bill at the same time. But that's probably you're type. ;)


Carrying condoms and 57 cents in change,

X.


Still Standing Right Here...