The Republicants

The Republicants

Congratulations everybody! We did it! I think the most brilliant part of our strategy was having Kerry run against Bush so that he'd stay in office long enough to piss off America so bad that we'd overreact and vote for anybody who pretended to be a Democrat. Or at least a non-Republican. I think the Whig Party had a better shot at winning the House majority than the Elephants. Actually, I think the "Dress Up Like Your Favorite thirtysomething Character" Halloween Party had a better chance than the Republican Party. The Democrats employed their brilliant strategy of slowly backing out of the room while their brother was getting yelled at. And it worked! Victory is ours! After like 12 or so years, it's finally our turn to screw up the country. Tax and spend baby! There's already a bill proposed called "Only a Few Children Per Hundred Left Behind." Just like the good old days when I think I was left behind. I'm also looking forward to getting rid of that trickle-down economic theory where they give rich people all the money and hope that they give some to us or something like that. It's right there in the name of it – they're pissing on us. I want to see some "trickle-up" economics employed in the next couple years. That actually sounds a lot more difficult physically though. Maybe first thing in the morning I may have a shot at it. Truth be told, I get all of my political information from SportsCenter and Comedy Central. I think I stole something from Jon Stewart, Dennis Miller, Stephen Colbert and Rich Eisen just to write that last paragraph...

Quote of the Day 11/12/06

"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it."

-George W. Bush


The polls are in ladies and gentlemen…. And sleep wins! In a landslide.

My name is Dustin Fisher and I approve this message.

Sen. Dustin Fisher, (W-Ohio).


Still Standing Right Here...

Bushwhacked

Bushwhacked

So we have a new president now and it's been almost two days. It looks like it's going to stick this year. As dumb as Bush is, or at least as dumb as he pretends to be, he was just smart enough to get himself reelected. And I love the talk I hear from everyone about how Kerry gave up too early. Apparently he's a soft democrat loser baby wus. Or maybe he's just a decent guy who remembers what Bush drug the country through to get the presidency back in 2000 and he wanted to try to avoid making the nice people of Ohio work sleeplessly through their Thanksgiving weekend recounting hanging chads and deciding what constitutes a hole punch and what doesn't. Or maybe he's going to flip-flop one more time for good measure and sue the Bush campaign or the people of Ohio or whoever he thinks he can at this point to become president. But he's probably just a wus.

As a side note, I think it was funny that the biggest partisan split came in DC, granting Kerry 90% of the vote. And these are people that know politics. Just about all of them do it for a living or are trying to break into the market. Kinda like what Hollywood is to actresses. It's like all the waiters down there are aspiring politicians waiting for their big break. It's kinda funny to think about it that way, but that's not what I logged on to write to you about. Think about it this way. How much does the average guy in, say North Dakota, know about politics? Not nearly as much as the smaller, but densely populated political capital of our country. And 90% of them thought that Kerry would be a much better leader than the guy that's been living there for the last 4 tears. That should say something. Like when your neighbors all think you're an asshole, maybe the rest of the world should listen to them. As much as I preach that everyone's vote should carry the same amount of weight, I am really just kidding. I'd rather leave the election process up to people who vote based on more than just how the candidates feel about drug testing in the MLB. Maybe we should give DC more electoral votes, like 1/4 or 1/3 of the country's votes. Whatever suits my current needs.

Quote of the Day 11/4/04

"I may be big and dumb, but I'm not stupid."

-One of our D linemen after a game

2nd Quote of the Day 11/4/04

I was telling Tom what he said later on that day:

Me: "Well, he has a point."
Tom: "And I think he proved it."

He was actually trying to make a point when he said that too. You gotta love linemen.

Mock the vote,

D Rec.


Still Standing Right Here...