Showing posts with label Little Boy Hair Girl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Little Boy Hair Girl. Show all posts

Thursday, February 15, 2001

Deer John

Deer John

Well I know I spoke of the Valentines Day curse that I have and tried to convince myself that I actually wasn't experiencing it this year. Well, somebody must have heard me. Sometime last night, my driver side rear window imploded. As if that wasn't enough, my ratchet set and about $2.45 in change managed to escape through the broken window. So Happy V-Day to me. Actually, whoever did it was comparatively decent about it. On one hand, sure they broke my window and took my stuff, but on the other hand, they only broke the small triangular window that doesn't roll down anyway, and they didn't take my jumper cables or audio cassette of Paul Reiser's Babyhood. Maybe the guy just needed a ratchet set. He (or she, don't want to be sexist here) didn't bother to break into my other car and take all my tennis rackets and volleyballs and stuff. Oh well. I get to see my good buddies at Safelite again. And at least I didn't hit a deer. ;)

Tony hit a deer last Thursday. More appropriately, the deer hit him. He said it came running out of the woods like a cornerback going for a tackle. And the deer managed to run or limp off afterwards. But until Tony's appointment to get the thing fixed, he's driving around with a crushed bumper and fur sticking out of his headlight. Not to mention the hoof print on his hood. In fact, the deer might be the jerk who broke into my car. A deer with a vengeance. So if anybody sees a deer limping around the woods with a ratchet set, tell him he owes me $2.45.

This quote came in response to me telling Teresa, the subject of last night's quote, that I was hesitant to send the e-mail because he didn't want her to take it the wrong way and ditch my good buddy...


Quote Of the Day 2/15/01

"Don't worry about me and Mike..we'll screw things up ourselves before you ever have a chance to ruin it with quotes or...reason and such"

-Mrs. Little Boy Hair Girl Freelander


He's a guy. He's got to screw it up eventually anyway. Even without my help.


Always gotta be the window,

Mr. Glass.


Still Standing Right Here...

Wednesday, February 14, 2001

Floating Valentine's Day

Floating Valentine's Day

I know yesterday I referred to being alone on Valentine's Day as "the Valentine's Day curse." Well, I'd like to retract that statement. It's easy to be depressed and say it sucks when you spend V-Day alone, but I think I've been looking at things all wrong. I'm the lucky one. This holiday doesn't suck for me, it sucks for them. Those poor unfortunate boyfriends/husbands that are required to make some sort of attempt to not screw up the V-Day. And I'm sure that's precisely what they're thinking. I'm a guy. We probably fuck up 80% of the times we try anyway, and with all the expectations and pressure of trying to make this the most romantic day of her year, we're bound to bungle it up. Romance should be spontaneous, not one planned day every year. Take it from a guy who hasn't been in a serious relationship in 4 years, I should know. Here's what you do whenever you start dating somebody. You say, "OK, we're going to have a Valentine's Day, but it's not going to be on February 14th. And I'm not going to tell you when it's going to be." That not only adds to the spontaneity, and thus the romance, but it buys you another 10 1/2 months to figure something out. I'm brilliant! I'm going to try to apply this to other areas of my life too. Like Christmas. And filing my taxes. I've already started doing it with laundry day. So anyway, when you start to feel lonely tonight, just think of all the poor schmucks who are presently letting their girlfriends/wives down. I'm glad I got cut. Actually, her agent told me she wants to continue talks about a possible short term contract if I haven't already signed with another team or retired. I think this metaphor has gone on too long. Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day all! I hope you all at least broke even. I'm going to go watch Temptation Island with Russ and Tony now.

This quote came from a conversation I had with Evil Lance McFreelander as he was in the process of signing his contract a few weeks ago with Little Boy Hair Girl (I need to start renicknaming my friends again). Anyway, he was trying to describe to me the state of being his relationship with Teresa was in...


Quote Of the Day 2/14/01

Me: "So are you guys exclusive now?"
Mike: "Well... kinda."
Me: "Well, if she goes out with somebody else, would you get pissed?"
Mike: "Yeah."
Me: "And if you go out with somebody else, would she get pissed?"
Mike: "Gosh, I hope not."


Where do I sign?


Cupid's arch nemesis,

Achilles.


Still Standing Right Here...