Showing posts with label New Jersey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New Jersey. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 7, 2004

Rating Unwritten Ethical Violations of Passing Other Cars

We're going to pretend it's Tuesday and do the ratings thing:


Unwritten Ethical Violations of Passing Other Cars


Not Letting Someone Merge Onto the Road - Otherwise known as the "overaggressive spot-holder." I think this one pisses me off more than any other ethical traffic violation. In fact, I think this one is up there with getting into an elevator before I get out of it as my number one idiotic pet peeve. I can understand the riding of the next car's bumper if you are part of a chain of cars driving in the left lane and I'm trying to break into the chain to get around a guy in the middle lane. But when you see me coming onto an on ramp from another road and you refuse to let me into the right lane because you want to hold your spot in line is fucking intolerable! I swear to God this one lady would have rather ran me into the guard rail at the end of the merge lane than let me into her lane. And every next car in line was doing the same thing. This is why I think each car should come with a gun with one bullet. Traffic would flow a lot better that way. F

Driving Slow in the Fast Lane - Some people just haven't figured it out yet. The further left you go, the faster you have to drive. Why wouldn't you be able to do this? And I'm not talking about when it's crowded and confusing. If I have the ability to pass you on the right, you should get the hell out of my way in the first place. I'm not flashing my brights at you because you have a tail light out. And one day when I was particularly pissed off, I decided to get in front of this guy and sit down and see how slow I could go before he'd pass me on the right just to show him how annoying it was. Well, I got down to 30 on 95 and he waited me out. I don't get it. D

Passing On the Right - I can justify this action if it's not abused. Especially if you have an asshole doing 45 in the fast lane. In fact, it's a written law that you have to stay right in New Jersey (that's the only good thing NJ can be referenced for). Of course, it's also a law that you can't pass on the right in NJ. So if somebody’s driving slow in the left lane and you pass him on the right, you are both at fault? They mean well, but they still can't get their shit together. B

Speeding Up When Somebody Tries To Pass You - This is another strictly asshole move. If you wanted to be going that fast, you should have been doing that the whole time. Don't speed up just because you are being threatened as the fastest car on the road. This is like the traffic version of penis envy. What's your damn problem? There's no need to concern yourself with me. D-


Quote of the Day 9/7/04


"I'm sure she's nice. She's just not nice to other people."

-Katie Kraus


That's Katie's version of a compliment.


Passing on the shoulder,

Extendo.


Still Standing Right Here...

Tuesday, June 11, 2002

Rating Countries That Border The United States

Countries That Border The United States

Mexico - The most common thing that people have to say about Mexico is that you shouldn't drink the water. Everytime you go on vacation. "Don't drink the water." Don't drink the fucking water?! Are you serious? Can the Mexicans drink the water? I don't think I could live in a place where I couldn't drink the water. It's a pretty important ingredient in every food I make. I think I might be able to survive in a country where it wasn't a good idea to eat the maraschino cherries, but water? So unless you enjoy dysentery, I guess it's not a great place to be. No wonder they're all trying to flee across the border. D

Canada - I'm not even going to make a joke about Canada. They've all been done. I just checked, and every single Canadian joke has been done at least 250 times. So rather than flog a dead maple leaf, I'll move on. C

New Jersey - I know it's not a country, but I'd like to say something. I've been to New Jersey and it stinks. Literally. At least the half of New Jersey that wants to be Philly does. I haven't heard great things about the half that wants to be New York either. But Trenton stinks. There's a reason they call it the arm pit of America and it has nothing to do with geography. I wouldn't drink the water from there either. F

Atlantic Ocean - Well, I know it's not a country. It's not even a land mass. But it is huge. And it does border the US. And did you know that it has the largest mountain range in the world in it? The largest mountain range is actually under the water in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean called the Mid-Atlantic Ridge. It comes complete with active volcanoes and everything and it's all under seas level. Pretty neat, huh? But not quite neat enough to make you forget that it's not really a country. F

Quote of the Day 6/11/02

"Why do they put Canadian bacon on Hawaiian pizza?"

-Megan O'Canadien


Turns out there was still one out there.


Blaming New Jersey,

Spastic Man.


Still Standing Right Here...