The gig's up. I'm no longer on crutches or in a cast. I'm walking again. It's a little bit upsetting. I kinda miss the crutches. People felt sorry for me. I got some respect. Actually, I guess it was really just pity, but it could be confused for respect at times. Anyway, now I'm just limping around with a little brace on. It's cool to walk again, don't get me wrong, but I'm tired of people asking me if I sprained an ankle. "No, I ruptured my Achilles tendon." "Oh, really? I think I did that once." The hell you did, ass face. People don't get out of my way anymore when I try to walk through a door or anything. I'm no longer a cute crutch boy the girl at the check-out line feels sorry for. Now I'm just a sorry gimp with a semi-permanent limp. Not nearly as easy to pick up chicks this way. I think I'm just a little annoyed that people no longer appreciate the severity of my injury. Not that I want people to appreciate my injury, but when that's all you got going for you, you want... well, I guess that is what I want. I'm sick of people passing me on the stairs or kicking the back of my foot and not really knowing just how bad it feels. And I want chicks. Or at least one. A cute one. With money.
I don't know if many of you are paying attention to baseball now, but the Os just signed Cal Ripken "Jr." to a one year $6.3 million deal for the upcoming year. I was sitting around with Isaac watching this story unfold on Sportscenter last night...
"My God. He's stealing money!"
-Isaac
Well, how else are you gonna get fans in the seats to watch such a shitty team?
It's all about the Benjamins, baby,
Crutch X.
Back to Standing Again...
