Indy-Friend-ance Day

Indy-Friend-ance Day

So this Independence Day started out just like any other day. I woke up on top of my blankets with my pants on and a vague recollection of karaoke, water towers and doing splits on the stage of Brick Street. I had to call my neighbor to find out who drove us home and I crossed my fingers that I didn’t lose my glasses, credit cards or self-respect last night. Then I woke up and watched Monk for 7 hours. What an awesome day.

Fast forward ahead to the barbeque with brisket, banana pudding and raspberry muffins shaped like penises (we’ll talk more about this later). I got a phone call from my best friend from high school who asked me if I could come pick him up and drive him back to his car. He was in Cleveland. Four hours away. I’m not kidding. He wasn’t kidding. Nobody was kidding. Not even him. Trust me, I asked again. All Mike would tell me is that there was nothing legally or medically wrong and he knew the magnitude of what he was asking me. He was at Jacobs Field watching the Yanks play the Indians. So I was putting the top on my jeep trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Was he in some gang trouble? Did Derek Jeter steal his car keys? Was he so upset over the 19-1 drubbing of the Yanks that he slashed his own tires in disgust? (19-1? Was that even a baseball game?) Well, I’m a good friend so I wasn’t going to ask. Besides, the only single chick at the party who hadn’t already turned me down was about to leave. So I took off towards Cleveland. Meanwhile, Mike had convinced his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend to start to drive him south to meet me. He’s apparently trying to win the ex-boyfriend of the year award.

So I got back home around 4am. The fireworks were apparently all over. But for about 15 minutes just north of Dayton, God had his own display that was pretty impressive. Good to know he’s a patriot. And this quote was from a while ago, but I like it a lot and it’s a great one to remember if you’re in relationship…

Quote of the Day 7/4/06

“Just because I don’t remember doesn’t mean I wasn’t listening.”

-Mikey “Owes Me a Favor” Conover. J


All the deer were hiding from me last night too. The word is out.

America’s beacon of freedom,

Captain Extendo.


Still Standing Right Here…

The Hypocrisy of Drew Carey

The Hypocrisy of Drew Carey

Well, I have a few more points to make while this football topic is still hot. If I was anywhere else, I probably would have rooted very adamantly against the Ravens. For starters, they were the arrogant, trash-talking team going into the big game, and I've always rooted for the Doug Flutie soft-spoken humble type, which is exactly what the Giants were. But mostly, Ray Lewis... This guy is world class jerk. You could tell just by listening to him that he didn't have an ounce of remorse in his body for the two dead victims in which he had at least some part in the murders of, even if he didn't hold the knife himself. Instead, he refused to answer, asked them to change the topic, or stood up and left. Never once apologized. But we don't care, because he brought home the trophy. Baltimore doesn't hate Albert Belle because he's an asshole. They hate him because he doesn't hit home runs like he should and because he plays right field like a sick walrus. So Ray Lewis better keep on winning or the city won't be blinded by the air of victory anymore, and we might actually see him as a person instead of a hero.

One thing I don't agree with is the crap that Baltimore gets for having stolen a team from Cleveland. First of all, the older city folks seem to think they have the right because one got taken from us long ago. Secondly, last year's Superbowl found the Tennessee Titans losing to the St. Louis Rams in a battle of franchises who skipped town, but nobody seemed to even mention that. Maybe it's just because I live here that I hear it so often. Or maybe it's because Drew Carey won't shut up about it. Well Drew, Art Modell said he didn't feel that he could win in Cleveland and it only took him 4 years to prove himself correct. Because Cleveland doesn't rock. And didn't you leave Cleveland just about the same time the Browns did? Didn't you move to LA because you thought it was in your better business interests? Aren't you like the world's biggest hypocrite? You and Art are one of a kind Drew. While I'm at it, there are way too many weird dance sequences in your silly show.

Well, back to Ray Lewis. We were talking about him and the events at Atlanta last year at the start of the Superbowl...

Quote Of the Day 2/8/01

"Well, at least he's got an alibi this year."

-Large Mike


OK. I'm done with football for a while.

Nevermore,

Extenda-Poe


Quoth the Raven, "Still Standing Right Here..."