I saw Wild Things for the first time a few nights ago. It started out with Neve Campbell and some really hot chick accusing Matt Dillon, their guidance counselor, of rape. But Kevin Bacon, a detective, knows more about it than meets the eye. But it doesn't stay that way for very long. It is the plot twist equivalent of Maverick + Total Recall + a bad Scooby Doo episode squared. I tried to diagram what actually happened in the movie and who knew what and when and I got writers cramp after about half an hour. But it was cool. Just when you thought you were right, you weren't. They were always an extra step ahead of you. And if you left before the credits were over, you still don't know what "really" happened. At times, it seemed like some twists were in there just to be in there, but in the end, I think it paid off to take the viewer through all those 360s. And that chick was HOT!!! And she got naked too! I'm gonna give Wild Things 8 bugs. It lost a few for having Bill Murray. He had no business being in that movie. And it wasn't funny. It didn't really try to be, but it never hurts. Well sometimes it does. Oh well, I don't care. In the end, the glory of this film comes down to the babes. And Neve Campbell and that other chick are true babes. The other chick even shows some booty, and that's some good booty. Not that I really care about things like that.
Another cool thing about this flick was that it inspired a quote. See, the last five minutes takes you screaming, willingly or not, through about 6 or 7 hard right angles in the plot. I'm sure I mentioned that already in more than two ways, but that's my new favorite one. Anyway, Evil Joe came out of the movie baffled as usual and lets out a scream of confusion, disappointment, and utter barbaric bewilderment...
Quote Of the Day 2/26/99
"Who the hell writes this shit!?!?!"
-Evil Confused Joe.
Wild Things, I think I love you.
Taking advantage of the puns if they're there,
Screaming Cricket.
Still Standing Right Here...
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