Crotch McFlurry

I don't know if you guys heard about this, but there is talk of making the use of cell phones in cars illegal. Now, I'm not a big advocate of accidents in any capacity, but if we're going to outlaw something because it detracts too much attention away from the actual turning and breaking of the vehicle, then we need to start with something other than cell phones. Like drive-thrus. Now, I'm not the most coordinated guy in the world, but I can quite easily hold a phone with my shoulder and cheek if necessary. And I'm also talented enough to not have to look into the receiver in order to trust that it's working. If you've been keeping track, that leaves my eyes available to look down the road, my left hand free to steer the car, and my right hand free to change the radio station when that stupid "Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" song comes on. However, simple things like turning the car aren't as easy when you're trying to use the pickle to scrape the onions off the top bun of your Big Mac. And you're bound to drop a fry or two in the seat of your car that you won't be able to find with your eyes on the road. And the fun doubles when you do all of this with a McFlurry in your crotch. In short, I say we start at the source and ban drive-thrus before we start with cell phones. Laptop computers and audio workout tapes are also up there.

This quote came from a friend of mine who is trying to sell his car. If there are any takers, it's a 94 Honda Civic going for $9,000. It smells funny and it needs to be cleaned, but there are no blood stains on the seats anymore. Though, after this, you might think twice...


Quote Of the Day 2/11/99

Josh: "Well, what about the dents in it?"
Will: "I didn't put the dents there!"
Josh: "Oh, I forgot. The car in front of you did."


Will had this to add: "Well, the bastard should have merged."



Eyes on the road,
Crotch McFlurry.


Still Standing Right Here...