Bowman Logic

Dave, what the hell are you doing? You did me proud in assisting me with the whole "stalk the volleyball team campaign," but I have to put a stop to this usurping of quotes of the day. I'm sure you remember what can happen. Don't make me sick Detective Smiley on you. Or worse yet, I'll hire Earl to screw with your account like he did Yelnick's. Just in case you guys don't remember, Earl is the guy who can seriously fuck with your account. He wrote a program that administered electric shock to a person every time they tried to login to their account. And he also did this thing where if you tried to falsely send in a quote of the day, a boxing glove would pop out of the monitor and punch you in the face. Point is, you can reply as you wish, but you risk being publicly embarrassed in front of however many people I have on here like Chris (angst Boy) just recently was.

I showed up to a football game today with excited that I could just watch a game without having to ref or play in it. Well, I was there for about 3 minutes, and Gary gave me a video camera and asked me to tape it. He put me up on top of the van and actually tried driving around while the play was going on. It was pretty neat and fun. Anyway, Ryan Bowman, president of Sig Ep, and a pretty decent guy, was reffing the game. He told me that for the first year and a half he knew me, he hated me. And it was just because I wore "that stupid pink hat everywhere." He said he hated Stryker too, because he was loud...


Quote Of the Day 10/31

"Your hat was the equivalent of Stryker's mouth."
-Bowman


Well, so much for that theory on time changing things. And I guess it didn't help that we hung out together all the time either.


Too tired to be creative,
The Riddler.


Still Standing Right Here...

Pi Kapp Football Strategies

Hey Tony, that was cool as shit, man. Nice catch. I will no longer refer to you (or anyone else) as Tony Testicle. And Angst Boy, first of all, you wern’t the first to respond to my spelling error as a matter of fact. There are others out there that take just as much delight in correcting my spelling errors as yourself (and by the way, I know I misspelled weren’t wrong, I just don't feel like going up to change it, damnit!). But had I written down the word "segue," how many people of these hundred or so would have known what it meant. Most would probably think I was talking about a French vegetable or something. And they all hate French vegetables. Well, I do. I just assume everybody else does. Anyway..., our men's football team lost our football game today. But I know what we did wrong. See, what happened was that we let them score more points than we did. I'm thinking if we had avoided that, we may have had a better shot at winning. Oh well. They say that hindsight is 20/20, and in my case it's probably twice that, because I don't wear glasses or anything. Of course two times 20/20 is 40/40, which is still just 1. I don't know who we're all kidding. I think it's a hoax, but I lack substantial proof. They do a good cover-up job.

A funny thing I heard at a football game today: I hung out to watch Pi Kapp play ZBT after our game today. Pi Kapp lost by approximately the football score equivalent of a ton, but that's beside the point. They had a quarterback who tried to run every play. Even more than I did. And they had a couple of linemen who weren't the most dexterous of creatures. On one particular play, the quarterback found himself running all over the backfield... again, and Ryan Mihalic, notorious for being the ex-RA of third north and now a Pi Kapp lineman, was scrambling around with him until Ryan finally fell down trying to make a cut and the quarterback threw a lame duck up in the air that was, by pure luck, not intercepted. (I really apologize for that last sentence, by the way. Good luck reading it.) Well, Chris Kelly was walking back to the huddle up the sideline, to which I mentioned that their quarterback needs to learn how to throw...


Quote Of the Day 10/30

"Yeah, and Mihalic has to learn how to not be fat."
-The lone Pi Kapp receiver


I think I need to learn how to not be lazy, only I have no time. Ironic.


Praying that my knees last through volleyball season,
Extendo.


Still Standing Right Here...

The Happiest Fart

You know, it's a little disconcerting that my days don't seem to end until around 6:30 or 7 in the morning now. Yeah, just in case you see the date I sent this and think I'm late, you're wrong. It's actually still Wednesday to me. Don't argue with me. I'm right and I'm too tired to learn you the ways of time as it applies to the college student right now. And damnit, this clock change is messing with me because now the sun is always coming up as I try to fall asleep. Sometimes I think I accidentally set mine back too many hours.
Great news everybody. Fathead is in the finals!! We upset T-Shirts Please today to grant us a chance for the championship. You know it's a good day when I say "Good job Russ" more than once. We had 5 interceptions, 3 returned for touchdowns, and one of them by Russ! Of all people, that uncoordinated bastard picked one off and ran it back. It was great. Our offense hardly ever got to play, but that's what happens when they drive all the way down to our ten yard line and then threw an interception that goes all the way back for a touchdown. They get the ball right back again, and they waste a hell of a lot of time. We had more interceptions today than offensive completions. I'd like to say we had a great game, but they did most of the work. Well, they can plead all they want, but they ain't getting no t-shirts this year.

Well, I needn't tell you guys that the drive back here from VA Tech can take a while. Anyway, right before we left, we were walking back toward the van, and I stepped in a pile of dog stuff. Everybody knows how much that sucks. Well, anyway, I wiped it all off, and got in the van with everybody. Shortly after we left, Dan asked me if I was sure I got all the dog stuff off my shoe because there was a distinct bad odor. To comfort him, I admitted that I had just released gas. This put Dan at ease because now he knew that the odor would pass and he wouldn't have to live with it all the way home...


Quote Of the Day 10/29

"That's the happiest a fart has ever made me."
Middle Linebacker Dan


Well, next time you need one, just ask.



Love, interceptions, and a clay imp,
Fathead.


Still Standing Right Here...

You Don't Know Jack About Sex

I don't know if you guys remember me saying something last week about "if I can only make it through this week, I'll be OK." Well, I'll be damned if I wasn't wrong again. But once this week is over, I'll finally have a little down time (note, I said DOWN time, not FREE time). Well, You Don't Know Jack About Sex was quite a success. Everybody had a good time and it seemed like everybody was laughing the entire time. I think a crowd favorite was the Dis or Dat question which made them choose whether something was a sexual term, a city in PA, or both. I was surprised she got "Conshohocken" wrong. I could picture "Intercourse" or "Hardcock," but if there's any sexual act called Conshohocken, I don't think I'd ever date a girl who has performed it.

Well, I'm already off-topic and tired as a sperm in July (no, I don't know what it means), so I'm not attempting a segue to this quote of the day. It came a few weeks ago when Hassan, Meghan and I were talking about relationships, and Meghan introduced her theory on why so many relationships fizzle out after two years or so. And as unfortunate as it is, I think we all have to agree on some level...


Quote Of the Day 10/28

"...what used to be cute and endearing is now just annoying."



With me, it seems like I start out as annoying, and get possibly more annoying. That cute and endearing crap isn't for everybody anyway.


Just because I live in a teepee...
Screaming Cricket.


Still Standing Right Here...

That Line Between Here and Stalking

Hello again everybody. Sorry I fell off the edge of the earth last week, but it really ought to have a guard rail or something. Anyway, I went to our girls volleyball game this Sunday and SuperDave, my photographer friend, was taking pictures for the newspaper. Jokingly around, I asked him if he could get me some 9 by 12 glossies of a couple players. Well, he did. Which brings up a new question. Where is the line between mere admiration from afar and stalking? I mean, I have the picture, but it's not like I hung it up or anything. And I don't really follow her around as much anymore. Well, I at least don't wear the camouflage too much. At any rate, don't tell anybody about this. This information is personal and must not be shared with anyone outside of the designated hundred or so people. Because if word ever got out that I was stalking them again, it would just make it that much harder.

Alright, we (other people and myself) went to VA Tech this weekend for an ultimate frisbee tournament. We didn't necessarily "win" in the true sense of the word, but we made up for it by getting hurt. We all had a lot of fun, and as silly as the sport of frisbee sounds, it's really physically grueling. At least, that's what I was thinking as the ambulance pulled away. Well, as I was bitching about being sore on the way home, Katie was sympathetic to my situation and decided to put her two cents in...


Quote Of the Day 10/27

"Derek's worried about his bone. It's hard and flat here (pointing to my 'bone'), but it's like pointy here."
-Katie


I was already writing down her first sentence, but she just kept digging the hole.



Bouncing the bad check of fate,
Screaming Cricket.


Still Standing Right Here...