Up and Running

Up and Running

Well, today is the 1/2 year anniversary of the Bad Day. Six months ago today, I ruptured my left Achilles tendon. It's not really all that exciting. I didn't take it out to dinner to celebrate or anything. Actually, we ran the loop together. I started running again last week. Which means I started wanting to do other things. Which means I will inevatibly rerupture it soon enough.

I was talking to one of the counselors I had over the summer. The day camp counselors, that is. Not the other counselors. Anyway, I told him that I had to go through about 3 hours of physical therapy a day for the first four months. I went on to tell him that I had to do these excercises where I'd have to move a towel with a can of soup on it across the floor with my foot and I'd also have to get ultrasound done to my tendon. He asked me what the ultrasound was for...

Quote Of the Day 2/9/01

Me: "To break up the scar tissue around my tendon."
Sam: "Well... where does it go?"


That's a damn good question that I never bothered to think about until he brought it up. I hope they've thought about that ahead of time.

Up and running again,

Crippled Cricket.


Still Standing Right Here...

The Hypocrisy of Drew Carey

The Hypocrisy of Drew Carey

Well, I have a few more points to make while this football topic is still hot. If I was anywhere else, I probably would have rooted very adamantly against the Ravens. For starters, they were the arrogant, trash-talking team going into the big game, and I've always rooted for the Doug Flutie soft-spoken humble type, which is exactly what the Giants were. But mostly, Ray Lewis... This guy is world class jerk. You could tell just by listening to him that he didn't have an ounce of remorse in his body for the two dead victims in which he had at least some part in the murders of, even if he didn't hold the knife himself. Instead, he refused to answer, asked them to change the topic, or stood up and left. Never once apologized. But we don't care, because he brought home the trophy. Baltimore doesn't hate Albert Belle because he's an asshole. They hate him because he doesn't hit home runs like he should and because he plays right field like a sick walrus. So Ray Lewis better keep on winning or the city won't be blinded by the air of victory anymore, and we might actually see him as a person instead of a hero.

One thing I don't agree with is the crap that Baltimore gets for having stolen a team from Cleveland. First of all, the older city folks seem to think they have the right because one got taken from us long ago. Secondly, last year's Superbowl found the Tennessee Titans losing to the St. Louis Rams in a battle of franchises who skipped town, but nobody seemed to even mention that. Maybe it's just because I live here that I hear it so often. Or maybe it's because Drew Carey won't shut up about it. Well Drew, Art Modell said he didn't feel that he could win in Cleveland and it only took him 4 years to prove himself correct. Because Cleveland doesn't rock. And didn't you leave Cleveland just about the same time the Browns did? Didn't you move to LA because you thought it was in your better business interests? Aren't you like the world's biggest hypocrite? You and Art are one of a kind Drew. While I'm at it, there are way too many weird dance sequences in your silly show.

Well, back to Ray Lewis. We were talking about him and the events at Atlanta last year at the start of the Superbowl...

Quote Of the Day 2/8/01

"Well, at least he's got an alibi this year."

-Large Mike


OK. I'm done with football for a while.

Nevermore,

Extenda-Poe


Quoth the Raven, "Still Standing Right Here..."

Rating Rules of the XFL

Rules of the XFL

No kicking of the extra point - I like this rule. They make you have to earn the extra point. It's not just a 98% gimme. Of course, it is fun seeing Al Del Greco miss one to lose a game against Baltimore, but that's a little too rare to merit a change of opinion here. But this rule change eliminates the 2 point conversion, which is even more exciting, because it happens so rarely. But then again, it happens so rarely. OK, I'm done. B

Scramble for the ball - OK, they've eliminated the coin toss. I think it's kinda cool that they start with a wrestling match like that. A guy already separated his shoulder on the scramble which put him out for the season, unable to collect any more money. But I do like the scramble. It sets the tone for the kind of blue collar backyard ball that you're about to start watching. I wouldn't take it to the NFL though. B+

Bump and run until ball is released - You can bump the receivers going out for a pass until the ball is released as long as they are facing you. That's gonna screw up a lot more timing patterns, but it's actually easier for the refs. This rule I don't mind so much. It would probably help the NFL clear up it's pass interference calls. A-

No fair catches - This translates loosely into "I'll bet people will watch more often if they think there's a higher possibility of death." The ball is live after it goes 25 yards, but the punt returner has a 5 yard halo which the would-be decapitators aren't allowed in. The penalty for violating the halo is 5 yards. So you can kill the guy on the first play and just get a 5 yard penalty. I'll bet the second guy isn't going to go anywhere near the ball. I guess that rule is in there for the wrestling fans that take to that sort of violence. Not me. "Mr. McMahon, this man's helmet saved his life." "OK, next week, the no helmet rule." C-

Only one foot in bounds for a legal catch - Why? If it's to make it easier on the refs, A+. If it's to allow more acrobatic catches, B. If it's to emulate college football even more, C. If it's just to be different from the real football league, F.

OK. I'm honestly really sick of the not-so-subtle trashing of the NFL that is going on. The XFL website describes the league as being "100 percent competitive sport - the brand of football that hardcore football fans havent seen in a long time, and the brand of football that new fans have never seen before." It goes on to be even more arrogant. I guess the brand of football they are talking about is the Night Train Lane football before they outlawed the head slap and the clothesline, which I'm surprised I haven't seen yet. Anyway, I think it would be in their better interests to seek help from the NFL rather than try to spread rumors about the popular kid in school. But again, that's probably why I'm not the commisioner. Hell, wrestling seems to be doing OK for him somehow.

My dad was growing weary of the boringness of some of the NFL games during the season. He turned to me during a game (probably a Ravens game) and said...

Quote Of the Day 2/6/01

"Field goals kicked after the 3rd quarter shouldn't count."

-The Dad

Right dad. I think he could have been on the XFL rules committee.

Switching to basketball,

Insulted Viewer.


Still Standing Right Here...

The Beginnings of Something Bad

The Beginnings of Something Bad

So the XFL kicked off its inaugural season this past weekend. You'll excuse me if that doesn't inspire a break from my normal prose format. That reminds me. Thanks to all of you who responded to The Raven 2001, and even more thanks to those of you (Shannon) who wrote or e-mailed the Baltimore SUN, Jojo and Kenny, ESPN, Marty Bass, the Ravens, and so on. I don't think it actually got published or will get published anywhere, so I'll just have to settle for internet infamy. I've already gotten about 10 responses from people I don't know, some of whom got the poem from people I don't know either. That's pretty flattering. Thanks again. I'll do it again when the O's win the pennant.

Anyway, the new fandangled brand of football kicked off over the weekend, complete with horrible camera angles, gaudy uniforms and Xtreme audio problems. OK, yeah it's football. And yeah, they're trying, but I have a few problems with it. First, let's face it. These are players who were not good enough to be in the NFL for a reason. Also, nobody knows anything about them. Am I supposed to root for a team just because they're called the Hitmen? Actually, I like the Birmingham Thunderbolts because I think it's funny that Alabama has a pro sports team. Anyway, I think I heard more talk about the cheerleaders at work today than the actual game play. That's not really a good sign. I have a cable modem and a Pentium III. In other words, I'm not going to watch a football game just for the cheerleaders. But the XFL is getting some air time on SportsCenter, though I'll bet they have to pay a ton for it. Especially the way they're putting down the NFL, which I think is stupid. They are trying to appeal to football fans, who probably rather enjoy the NFL, and they have commercials with Steve Austin telling fans that the NFL is a league of sissies. I also don't think running their second nationally televised game opposite the Pro Bowl was a good idea for ratings. But that's probably why I'm not the commissioner. And how the hell do you put a line on a league that hasn't even played a game yet? "Yeah, I'll take the Maniax giving 3 1/2 and the over." You have a gambling problem if you're betting on the XFL.

Mike called me a few weeks back at a time which I knew wrestling to be on TV. I was astonished he wasn't watching it at the time. I was proud of him. I asked him if he knew wrestling was on...

Quote Of the Day 2/5/01

"None of these guys are on my fantasy team."

-He Hate Me Mikey


Fantasy wrestling. That's the sign of two things going way too far.

Nevermore,

Dustin.


Still Standing Right Here...

The Raven 2001

The Raven 2001

Hey everybody. I spent a long time on this and I really like it. Probably better than last year's Ode To the Stain On Your New Rug. Anyway, if you like this and feel like forwarding it on to anybody else you know, I'd consider it a compliment. Thanks a ton.

Dustin.

---
The (new) Raven
-as adapted by Dustin Fisher

Once upon a long off season, Ravens fans were given reason
To sit in the bleachers freezin, spilling nachos on the floor -
For Ray Lewis was aquitted, Sharpe and Coates were then admitted,
All the pieces neatly fitted, shaped to form an inner core.
So the pieces came together forming thence a champion core.
"Praise the Lord" quoth Baltimore.

But I recall in the beginning, 'fore the Ravens started winning,
Twere not many fans a-grinning for a team which could not score.
It's already been three games, and still the touchdown drought remains.
The city started pointing blames; they could not take this anymore.
"Surely we can fix this problem and thence rise again once more."
And so speaketh Baltimore.

With the offense all disjointed, Banks - the scapegoat - was appointed,
"Lynch him! Lynch him! He's the one! Thence we shall rise again once more."
Then they turned to this Dilfer guy and gave his head and arm a try.
The city loved him for he'd cry; he'd cry and we'd not know what for.
Maybe twas his second chance at Tampa he was longing for.
We'd speculate, but never sure.

Then week ten had come around, the team not looking playoff bound,
For still the end zone was not found; they hadn't seen it since week four.
Then, a play I'd not believe, a pass which Stokely did recieve,
And searching for his team's reprieve, dove to the pilon for the score.
The city cheered unlikely heros, for the Ravens found a score.
Quoth the city "We want more."

Touchdowns started freely flowing, and now with the offense going,
This whole city started glowing; something special was in store.
Then the Ravens spoke their credos: "Who out there thinks they can beat us?
"Who among you will defeat us? This, of you, we do implore!
"Is there any better football team among us? We implore!"
Quoth the Ravens "Nevermore."

Cincinnati took a shot, the Chargers might as well have not,
And though Dallas came in hot, they went home without having scored.
Many teams would think they're ready, holding to their game plan steady,
But not even mighty Eddie put a C-note on the board.
Corey, Fred and even Eddie still fell short on the scoreboard.
Quoth the Ravens "This is war!"

Then the regular season ended, but the Ravens' was extended.
All vacations were suspended, playoffs knocked upon their door.
First the Broncos were impaled, the Mighty Titans fell and failed,
The Raiders, they jumped ship and bailed for them there pirates lost the war.
Even armed with Gannon's cannons, still the Raiders lost the war.
Quoth the Ravens "Never score."

And so they made it to the dance, though no reporter gave them chance
Except that prophet Sterling Sharpe, whose bald head we all still adore.
Still, these birds had made a science out of hands-down odds defiance,
A position which the Giants likened with from weeks before.
Both the Ravens and the Giants, underdogs in weeks before.
Quoth the Ravens "Nevermore."

So with this game's obvious pretense of both teams now preaching defense,
Twas to be a Superbowl to which reporters called a bore.
Most had thought they'd come out mellow; some, I'll bet, saw them as yellow.
But hey! There's that Stokely fellow granting them an early score.
Brandon Stokely once again would give the birds a needed score.
Quoth the Ravens "Nevermore."

Then New York began to stumble, still the Ravens would not crumble.
That record-setting defense got four picks and would not heed a score.
Shannon Sharpe would say he knew it - Kerry Collins claims he blew it -
Marvin Lewis, cool all through it, breathed a sigh he'd not before.
All the city cheered a cheer they'd never got to cheer before.
Cheered the Ravens "Nevermore."

Ray got MVP as planned, though Dilfer went to Disneyland,
And all the fans would storm the streets from Fells Point to the Harbor shore.
Last year's memories hath faded, Raven fans were too elated
For now Billick celebrated "Finally, we won the war!"
Finally the nation realized what these ominous birds of war
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."