Rating Ways to Get Rid of a Crappy Car

Ways to Get Rid of a Crappy Car

Sell it - I can't remember if I actually tried to back up the last car I bought out of an ad in the newspaper. It probably didn't even cross my mind to check it out because I would assume that every car in the world would have it. So it's possible that I could con some unsuspecting victim into buying the thing for a few hundred bucks, if they neglected to check that feature out during the test drive. And they never needed to come to a complete stop. But even as much of a prick as I am, I don't think I could live with myself in good conscience. F

Fix it up and sell it - I suppose I could go get the $300 brakes fixed up and the $800-$1400 backwards problem fixed and try to sell it to somebody. But would anybody buy that car for around $1300? I did, but I don't think I'm going to find any other takers as stupid as I was. At most, I could probably sell that car for about $800. So basically, I don't think the car as a whole would be worth any more than the transmission I would need to fix it. F

Roll it down a hill into a pond - I'd definitely have a "throw the car into the pond" party for all those willing to risk getting caught by John Q. Law. But even if I found the VID# on the engine block (I think that's where it is) and filed it off, it's still probably just not good for the environment. It's bad enough for the environment on solid ground. Along the same lines as that is joy riding down a steep hill with no brakes and no reverse and playing chicken with whatever is at the bottom of it. But that's also very stupid and life endangering. F

Set it on fire - I suppose that would also be fun, but I'm not really as much a pyromaniac as I want to be, so it probably wouldn't be all that enjoyable. I'd try to collect insurance off of that, but I don't think the bare minimum policy allowed by the state of MD covers intentional fires. I'll check it out. F

Donate it to charity - Well, this has been the suggestion of at least 4 of you via e-mail since I sent out my last message. Most charity places will tow it away for free and give a $500-$1000 tax exemption thingy. Sounds like a good idea, doesn't it? Well, this is what I did with the last car (Pimp-Mobile Jr.) when I needed to get rid of him. The thing is is that I don't make enough money to itemize my taxes which would be the only way I'd benefit from the tax exemption thingy. Of course, there's the overwhelming feeling of good that I'm overcome with when I donate a piece of shit car to the American Cancer Society, because God knows they need one, but that's only worth a D. D

Quote Of the Day 10/24/00

Tonedef6: I saw two best picture nominees for the first time today
Tonedef6: I'll give you 20 bucks if you can guess which two
MJConover7: Citizen Kane and Titanic.
Tonedef6: maybe I should have clarified...nominees this year
MJConover7: Gladiator......and Perfect Storm.
Tonedef6: you're really bad at this


He's really bad at a lot of things, actually.

Anybody need a 12-ft parking spot holder,

Limp Daddy.


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