Puxatawny Bastard

Dumb fucking groundhog bastard.

I was listening to the news this morning and a serious news cast came on that said that some scientists at Virginia Tech discovered that whether Puxatawny Phil saw his shadow or not had no actual relation to the temperature of the next six weeks. Well, no shit! I want whoever's job it was to come up with that little piece of trivia. I have a few theories of my own I'd like to try and prove involving a fat bearded guy and a reindeer powered flying sled. And since when do we let a rodent from Puxatawny, Pennsylvania tell us what the weather is going to be like? It's not like rats can predict the weather, let alone the rats from Puxatawny. I only ever knew one guy from Puxatawny, and he was a real flippin idiot. He was one of those guys that always wore his hat backwards to try to look cool. And it wasn't like one of those baseball caps either. It was a cowboy hat. The man was an embarrassment to cowboys, Pennsylvanians, and groundhogs everywhere.
Anyway, welcome back everybody. I hope you all had a decent break. I spent the entirety of it sitting on my couch with my leg elevated watching Columbo reruns. For those of you who don't know yet, that thing I did to my ankle at the end of last school year, well I did it again. To my other ankle this time. Except this time I didn't freak out when my whole calf muscle turned purple. Besides, there were some good Columbos on.

Well, I'm gonna get down to business now because I am already behind in my work and it hasn't even been a full week yet...
My friend and I were having a conversation at Bennigans about women problems (from now on, when I say "conversation," just assume it was at Bennigans about women problems), and he began talking about how he had gotten turned down. And this is his version of what she said for what it's worth...


Quote Of the Day 2/2

"She didn't want that kind of relationship. You know, the kind with me in it."
-Kevin "Puxatawny Putz" Hershey



Well frankly Kevin, neither do I.


Gittin Jiggy Wit It,
Extendo.


Still Standing Right Here...