Showing posts with label Beer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Beer. Show all posts

Sunday, December 31, 2006

The 7th Day of Quotemas 2006

Warning: This one isn’t very funny. But it also isn’t very long.

Talkin Bout a Resolution

A lot of you don’t know this, but I made a New Years Resolution last year to not drink any soda. Except for the little bit they put in the top of a long island ice tea. I did it because I wanted to try to consciously eat and drink more healthily. So instead of drinking soda for dinner, I’d have the only other thing in our fridge, beer. And on long road trips where I needed caffeine, I’d drink red bull. Or do some speed. And my roommate and girlfriend who refused to remember this made it difficult at bars. I’d have to ask the bartenders to try to separate the jack from the coke on many occasions. So where everybody else will be drinking champagne at midnight tonight, I’ll be looking around for a mountain dew. So this year, I’ve decided to really challenge myself. I’m going to try to drink nothing but soda. I’ll let you know how that turns out…


The 7th Day of Quotemas 2006

“Kate has the worst sense of direction in the world.” – Colin
“What makes you say that?” – Me
“Well, first of all, she doesn’t know her left from her right or north from south.” – Colin

What the hell was the second of all?”


Getting ready for a root beer IV,

D Rec.


Still Standing Right Here…

Thursday, May 13, 1999

Ode To the New Stain On Your Rug

Ode To the New Stain On Your Rug
-a not-so-sonnet by Dustin Fisher

I puked on your rug. That's right. I'll admit it.
And I'm almost actually glad that I did it.
It taught me a lesson to which all should adhere
About the difference between bad vodka and beer.

Beer can be drank with reckless abandon.
Bad vodka will seldom leave a skinny boy standin'.
Go look in the cabinet. I hadly drank any.
I'm a wus and I know it, but I left you guys plenty.

Though I'm mostly to blame and I will take the fall,
Those drinking "games" likely did not help at all.
You guys wouldn't let up, not one little bit.
You're all little vindictive pieces of shit.
Tell Justin and Kristen and Angie that too.
And that one chick Amanda that I hardly knew.

That's another bad thing about drinking too much.
It's harder to pick up on women and such.
I'll never get laid with my puke on the ground.
Thank God they've all already once turned me down.

Well, I should get going, I've got stuff to do.
And I'm hungover and possibly still drunk too.
But please heed these words from a corn puke survivor,
I'm going back to beer, man. Fuck the screwdriver!