Concussed - Part 2

Concussed – Part 2

It was recommended that I go to the ER to get scanned or probed or to basically do whatever they told me to do. Unfortunately they told me to wait. Apparently, I had passed the “wait in line without collapsing” test, so they put me at the back of the line. Jenn and I had to sit in the waiting room for hours, under some false impression that I shouldn’t go to sleep. Apparently, that’s not really a concussion thing. I understand why it shouldn’t be in the middle of a football field in 20 degree weather using a football as a pillow, but regular sleep in an ER waiting room chair would have probably been OK. Still no word whether or not we were on offense or defense.

About three hours after arrival, we were escorted to a room designed strictly to make us feel like we were closer to being helped. It still took another half hour for anyone to come in to say hi. Two nurses came in and took blankets from our closet before anyone came in to see me. They used to tease me with sex, now they tease me with head trauma treatment and the promise of getting home before Taco Bell closes. The doc finally came in and started asking some questions. No, I don’t remember that. Yes, I can see fine now. Yes, my head hurts, but after three hours in the waiting room, so does Jenn’s. He thought it best to get a Cat Scan of my brain. I figured since we’d been here for so long, I might ask him about my rotator cuff, which I think I re-tore or my thumb, but then I thought better of it. I had chicken baja chalupa on the brain.

He warned me of the perils of radiation and then sent me on my way. Well, I had to wait another half hour – I’m assuming just because they’ve established a pattern – but then I went into the cage. I thought about just sticking my thumb in there to see if it was broken, but the wheelchair nurse didn’t think it was a good idea. Then she licked some whipped cream off the side of her mouth. Damn them!

I got back to the room and had to wait an hour for the results. At least Jenn had gotten access to some very remedial cable television in my absence. Which means I now had the biggest headache I’ve ever had in my life and had to watch some damn home improvement show. And not the one with Tim Allen. After looking at some blobs in the shape of a brain, he concluded I didn’t have any “significant brain damage.” Awesome. Is there any insignificant brain damage I should know about? And is there such a thing as insignificant brain damage? Why don’t you just say “no brain damage.” I don’t even care if you’re lying. I’m so damn hungry and by now we’re probably on defense again. Or offense.

I called my doctor today and the scheduling office told me I’d have to wait until “mid to late February” for an appointment.

“What?! I’m not a new patient.”

“It doesn’t matter. That’s the first appointment available for her. All the other doctors in here are booked until March too.”

“I just had a concussion and lost consciousness for 90 seconds and have about 15 minutes of my life I still can’t remember and spent 5 hours in the ER this weekend getting my brain looked at. You think you could check again?!”

“How’s Wednesday at noon.”

So I have my follow-up appointment Wednesday. While I’m there, I’m just going to go through the laundry list of shit I need fixed. I’m getting a referral for my shoulder, having her check out my thumb, I’m going to revisit the whole pus coming out of my old Achilles scar-thing and I may even see about that green fluid that seems to be leaking from my car. But if I’m not getting back in until March, I’m getting my $20 worth, that’s for sure.

(check back tomorrow for the exciting conclusion! or maybe just some more BS)

• Check this out. Sequels are never as good as the originals. Concussed - Part 1

Concussed - Part 1

Concussed - Part 1

My first interception in three seasons and I don’t remember it.

For those that watch the NFL, you already know that this year has been the year of the concussion. I decided to get into the action in my flag football league. I jumped up to make an interception and after contact, I fell to the ground with the ball cradled under my chest, which see-sawed my head into the ground.

This is all hearsay for the record, as I don’t remember any of this. Nor do I remember the 90 seconds of unconsciousness, using the football as a pillow, denying the request to bring an ambulance when somebody had them on the phone, getting helped to the bench or unsuccessfully trying to remember what day it was. After being asked the question, I just stared off into space. All I kept asking is “Are we on offense or defense?” Dude, you just intercepted the ball! “Great! Are we on offense or defense?” People who don’t even really know football know that when you intercept the ball, you’re on offense next. So if the 90 seconds of unconsciousness or the inability to remember the day of the week wasn’t enough, this made everybody realize that things weren’t quite right in my head. Literally.

Lost in that comment is how awesome of a feat this was. How many people do you know of who get concussed and lose consciousness for over a minute and still make the catch? My body may be frail and injury-prone, but NEVER question my dedication to the sport, even in the face of severe head trauma.

When I came to, (the part that I remember), everyone told me that I gave them a big scare. Sorry. Ironically, I wasn’t afraid at all, as I don’t remember a damn thing. I remember becoming aware of my surroundings, which was about 10-20 minutes after everyone else thought I woke up. Strangely (or maybe not), my memory also starts exactly then. I was again asked what day it was. I had it narrowed down to 2 days, as I doubted I’d be ditching work with everybody else to play a football scrimmage. Then I remembered I wasn’t watching football and figured it out. Score some points for my deductive reasoning, but I don’t think that’s the process by which concussion patients are hoped to come up with that answer. I think most people just kinda know what day it is. All I really wanted to know was whether or not we were on offense or defense. For some reason, everybody laughed.

(stay tuned for my trip to the hospital tomorrow)

No I didn't take you off the QOTD list

No I didn't take you off the quote of the day list (aka, quote of the day 10/1/06)

Anybody out there see a week just wandering around lost? Because I seem to have lost a few of them.

Well, the dust has settled, but the smoke hasn't quite cleared yet. And the thought of using this mixed metaphor has led to an internal philosophical debate about whether dust would settle or smoke would clear first. This topic has been tabled for our next discussion. Among some other topics I will be covering in the upcoming month are as follows:

• The wedding I half crashed a few weeks ago
  
• My mom's first beer pong game
  
• The season 2 debut of Grey's Anatomy is NOT a National Holiday
  
• Back to Brick Street
  
• The new facebook stalking capabilities
  
• Does anybody on this list actually waste their time watching Deal Or No Deal?
• I am the world's greatest wing man
  
• My financial house arrest
  
• Setting Balcony on fire

So I recently met this girl we call the "Giggle Blink" girl. I didn't know what they were talking about until I met her, but it has since become abundantly clear. This girl only has two mental states. She's either giggling or blinking. She'll giggle and then immediately stop and her face will go blank and then she'll just blink. The giggling will start again and it will disappear and she'll go back to the blank face blink. She's very binary. But I don't think she'd know what that meant. I could tell her that and she'd probably just giggle. Or blink. But I can guarantee it probably wouldn't result in a conversation. However, she is pretty hot so I'll probably see her again.

Quote of the Day 10/1/06

Me: After a badly twisted ankle out on the soccer fields: "Do you have any feeling in your ankle yet?"
Guy: "Yeah. Pain."

It's not the best ever, but it's late and tonight is my night to sleep

Back for better or worse,

D Rec.


Still Standing Right Here...

Rating Shit That's Happened To Me In the Last Year

In case you've forgotten, and you probably have, every Tuesday was dedicated to rating some random things in the world, like my nicknames and ways to get money illegally. This was done to try to buy myself some material on a slow week. It also makes plagiarism a lot easier. Anyway, I'm going to try to continue that trend again this time around.

Shit That's Happened To Me In the Last Year

Torn hamstring - I battle all the way back from a ruptured Achilles tendon and a torn ligament in my other foot to do this shit. Ironically enough, I was wearing braces on both ankles, because I couldn't financially afford another injury. Go figure the one part of my body I've never had problems with should call it quits. I really think I just completely used up my body already. D

Scotland - I went to Scotland over New Years and it was the first time I had been outside the country ever, unless you count the 3 hours I was on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls, which I don't. It was different. There are more castles. And less heat. And nobody could really appreciate my Doug Flutie jersey. And I had no idea how the hell to spend money over there. But I didn't have to work and they have naked chicks all over their newspapers. B

The girlfriend saga - Well, it was certainly fun while it lasted. I finally convinced my family that I wasn't really gay and that I wasn't afraid of commitment. Then we broke up and I started drinking mineral water. I guess I'm back to square one. B+

Blown head gasket - On the plus side, I finally know exactly what happens. From the possible causes down to how to replace them. This is at least the third time that I've done this to a vehicle of mine, possibly the fourth. I've actually lost track of how many head gaskets I've blown in my very short driving career. Does this happen to anybody else out there? Why me all the damn time? I've never heard of this happening to anybody until I did it the first time, and now I've done it to three completely different types of cars. Do I drive differently than everybody else out there? And since when do I have to change my oil once every 3 years? F

So Mike and I were at Hooters, where I generally have all of my life-altering revelations, when I had another one. We were watching football and I turned to him and told him flat out that I had just decided that I was going to be a pro football player...

Quote Of the Day 3/5/02

"But you've already had a career-ending injury."

-Mikey McWawa


Damn the timing!

Running out of options,

Dustin Flutie.


Still Standing Right Here...