Showing posts with label Reverse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reverse. Show all posts

Thursday, October 19, 2000

Smoking Brakes

Smoking Brakes

My car is at it again. It already doesn't have reverse. This is a very major problem, but I've learned to get around it, at least on a temporary basis. Though it does seem like I've been using that word "temporary" for quite a while now. Anyway, now the front right tire squeals all the time, or at least when the radio isn't on and the window isn't up. Then I really can't tell. Anyway, even more disconcerting is the fact that as of Tuesday, every time I brake, there is a really loud and uncomfortable rumbling noise and the car pulls to the right a little bit. The good news is that these two things are probably the same problem. The bad news is that Good "Mr Car Major Dude" Joe seems to believe that the loud rumbling and uneven braking might "not be so good" for the car. And me.

What Joe seems to think has happened is that the brake pad on the right side has worn away and now the metal pad holder (he used some other term I can't remember now) is now grinding against the metal disc on the wheel that the absentee pad should be rubbing against to stop the car. He suggested I get this one fixed like really soon. And this is coming from one of the only guys that agrees with me that reverse isn't a necessity on motor vehicles. He started saying stuff like how if they get hot enough, they could fuse together and lock up the tire and send me skidding into a wall or another car or something. Now I'm probably scaring the crap out of my mother, so let me just say that I'm not really going to skid into any walls or cars, ma. I think I've calculated the point in which I would brake enough for this to happen, and there's a nice soft guard rail on the 95 exit ramp. Besides, it's likely to catch fire before any of this happens. ;) I'm actually afraid to hit the brakes now. I no longer bother slowing down over speed bumps. It's not worth the risk. And the decision between slowing down to park in a spot or ramming into a tree to stop me is a lot harder to make than it was last week. Also, if there aren't any cars parked on the road and I know I need to stop ahead, I just start ramming it against the right curb and bump, bump, bump my way to a stop. I may not be the smartest of the lot, but I learn how to adapt to car problems like nobody's business.

So the prospect of needing to shell out $300-$400 bucks just to be able to stop got me thinking. I pictured the conversation that would happen between the mechanic and myself when I asked them to fix the brake pad problem, but not to worry about the non reverse problem. That amused me enough to want to try it. But I think I may just call it quits on the Extendo-Mobile and put it to rest with Pimp-Mobile Jr. We'll see what CarMax has in the way of a stopping vehicle that can go backwards, yet still maintains the qualities of forward that my current car has. I don't know if they'll have anything like that in my under $250 price range, but I'll do some haggling. And I'd be willing to throw in an extra $50 if it was yellow.

During this conversation with Joe, we chatted about his job a little bit and I pretended to be interested so as I wouldn't appear like I was just using him for his knowledge of cars and crap. I asked him how work was going, and he replied something to the effect of "ah, it's work." This is approximately where I flaunt to my close friends what I do for a living. My job is such the antithesis of work, and he knows it. From the environment right down to the paychecks. Anyway, I told him that I had hoped he was prepared for the fact that it would be more like work than my job...


Quote Of the Day 10/19/00

"Actually, I got to work the first day and I asked 'Where's the girl's soccer team?' They all looked at me like I was crazy."

-Good Mr Car Major Dude Joe.


Funny thing is, that's actually a question I find myself asking every once in a while.


Desperately seeking brakes,

Extendo.


Still Stranded Right Here...

Monday, July 17, 2000

$4 Bills

$4 Bills

So my car no longer goes in reverse. This is quite possibly the most amusing anecdote of any car I've ever had. There was that Chevy Spectrum that wouldn't start, which isn't really amusing at all - then there was that 3 month period of time in which my window was stuck down (and another window got bashed in while that one was down). That one rivals the new problem, but falls a little short in the end. First of all, you could possibly go a few days without realizing you don't have reverse at all. In fact, I think I did. But I'm not a very bright man. The one advantage the non-reverse thing has over the non-window up thing is exactly that. Dates. I could manage to go out on a date and not let on that my car doesn't go in reverse. Especially if I scout out the place beforehand. The toughest hurdle to clear is the parking issue. There are two options. One is to make sure I get a pull-through spot. That way I can pull in and out without needing the option of reverse at all. The other option is to park on an uphill. That way I can use nature to make my car go the way it needs to but won't otherwise. I'll just have to find creative answers to questions like "Why are we parking so damn far away from the restaurant?" The third option is to get her to push the thing. If that needs to happen, the gig is up. Not only is it unromantic to get her to push the car while you steer, but it's an 84 Cutlass Supreme. They're pretty fucking big. "Hurry up and run around and jump in while we have the momentum!" I'm definitely not getting lucky that night. But the window down in the middle of November is a hard one to get around. "I like freezing my ass off. I just assumed you would too." "The wool hat is a fashion statement and it's just too damn hot in here with it on. So are the gloves and the scarf." Didn't get lucky then either.

Well, this quote came from a while back. So will most of these, but this one is running on being a decade old. One of those things that predates the quote but I still remember from time to time. Anyway, my dad and uncle were having a rather silly conversation in the car one day. I have no idea how it got brought up, but the topic of 2 dollar bills was much in the forefront. My uncle was trying to defend a claim that 2 dollar bills were worth more than 2 dollars. It seems silly I know, but this is the hand I got dealt. Anyway, my dad was on the other side of the argument, claiming that 2 dollar bills were still only worth face value. The following excerpt is from the end of that conversation...


Quote Of the Day 7/17/00

My dad: "No they're not! Why would they be worth more than $2?"
Uncle Ed: "Well, there are some 2 dollar bills worth like 4 dollars."
My dad: "What kind? The kind that are stuck together?"


That's what's called winning an argument by humor.


Stuck in a neverending 3-pt-turn,

Mr. Neutral.


Still Standing Right Here...