Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places

And now introducing... Katey Springle, the Patriot Missile of Humor.

Thanks, Katey. That same thought occurred to me, and two other people who responded to me without making sure the rest of the non-English major people who I write to knew how incompetent I was when it came to saying things that have to do with words. But thank you nonetheless for proving my ignorance to all of my 140 closest friends. (Like they didn't know already)


I know Valentine's Day is not the most fun day in the world for most of the people I hang out with, but here's my advice. Get over it. It shouldn't depress you if you aren't seeing somebody at this time of year. I mean think about all the poor unfortunate guys who are seeing somebody right now. They are probably all stressing out because they have some sort of societal standard to live up to. That's what I always did (OK, once) when I was actually seeing somebody when this day rolled around. Believe me, we're better off than them. And some people decided to celebrate the holiday by playing Quake in their room. Hey, there's a much shorter line than the Cheesecake Factory, the prices are lower, and you're supplied with grenades and bazookas at your discretion. Beat that! Well, anyway, Robyn, Angela and Tracy were all encouraging Greg to go out and do something on this day of love. Angela brought up the fact that... well, hell, here's the whole conversation...

Quote of the Day 2/14/1998

Angela: "You have to go out today. You have your touch me, feel me shirt on."
Robyn: "Yeah, you need to start trying to find someone."
Greg: "I AM trying!"
Me: "Greg, there aren't any in your room."
Greg: (pause) "I didn't say I was trying hard."



That's the attitude, Greg. Eventually, they will come to you. Take it from a guy that's been single for over a year. I know. ;)


Love, loneliness, and revenge,
Dustin.