A Tale of Two Joes

This message is going to go down as a tale of two Joe's.

Do you guys remember the quote a while back, when I told Suzanne that Joe scared me worse than I've ever been scared in my entire life, and she replied "Was he driving?"? Well, this turned out to be sort of a prophecy apparently. (By the way, this is "Good Joe" for those of you who weren't sure. They both drive like idiots, so I felt I needed to clarify). Joe totaled his car. Apparently, it wasn't designed to survive rolling over, smashing into a grey blazer, getting rear ended, and crashing into a concrete barrier at 60 mph. And it was his sporty little red Dodge Daytona too. Do you guys have any idea how cool I looked in the passenger's side of that car. He'd fly by chicks in cool cars at like 90, and I'd get all the credit because we were passing them on the left. It was great. But bastard had to go and fuck it up! But he says he's getting a Jeep, so he's forgiven for the time being. This may turn out to be a blessing in disguise for me.
A lot of you may think I'm callous because I haven't even asked Joe if he was OK. Well, you guys don't understand. Hell, JOE doesn't even care if he's OK. It's the Dodge!! This car (and the superficial popularity associated with it) is worth more than both of our lives together. Especially Joe's. Hell, you could just barely get a pair of spark plugs for his tennis game (bring it on, Ass Banshee!). Besides, I'm willing to bet that Joe would be so upset over his totaling of the car, that even if he did feel any pain, he probably wouldn't feel it.

OK, on to "Evil Joe." This Dick Sausage left his book bag in the dining hall one night. Upon realization of this incredibly absent-minded blunder, he went back to find out that his bag had been opened and everything was still left there intact... Except his calculator. He said he was mostly pissed that he lost all of the programming stuff that he had on there, and he would have given the guys $100 if they wanted. So from now on, if you ever run into this situation and want a TI-85 out of the deal, just leave a note telling them that you were nice enough to not take their calculator, and therefore deserve for them to buy you one. Leave your phone number and mailing address for them. I promise it will work. Well, this whole calculator pilfering sent Joe into this pissed off rant about people and their intentions, wondering what would make a person do something like that...


Quote Of the Day 2/20

"Why are people so dishonest?... Now, I'm gonna have to steal my roommate's."
-Evil Joe


I'm beginning to think you might actually make a good RA now, Joe.


Love, twisted metal, and chick mobiles,
Dustin.


Still Standing Right Here...