Like a Hole in the Head

Hey, I have exciting news guys! Not only is going to rain all throughout the rest of the day, but it will rain again tomorrow! And the next day! And the next day! And every subsequent day until I die! It's forecasts like these that make me question the validity of meteorologist's research.
I don't know if you guys know this idiot named Keith, but he's on our soccer team. During a game last month, he jumped up to head the ball and accidentally got a chin in his forehead. I don't usually use the term "in" when speaking about somebody getting hit in the forehead, but in this case, it applies. He came out of the game with a huge dent in his head. And this guy has a pretty big head to begin with. I mean you could lie him down and use him as an ashtray. Well, apparently, he suffered a dented skull or something of the sort. The guy has a hole in his freakin' head!!! And what does he do the following week? He comes back to the arena and tries to get in a game of soccer. Everybody said to him, "Hey Keith. Come on man, you got a hole in your flippin' head! Take it easy." But Keith was resilient to the logic everybody threw at him. Apparently he didn't think about the fact that he may need to head the ball or something like that. He'll probably get a metal plate put in there, but until then, if he gets hit in the head with a soccer ball, or even a random stray Friendly's straw wrapper, he'll be eating through a straw for the rest of his life. And if you thought those Frostys you get at Wendy's were tough to get through a straw, you should try a New York strip steak! Even without the bones. If anybody sees Keith out there, please stress to him the importance of a person's brain. Even his. Playing with a badly sprained ankle is one thing, playing with a hole in your head is an entirely different ballpark of unhappiness.

This quote is pretty self-explanatory, but I still thought it was funny. Anybody who's ever tried to speak, and it just didn't work for them can relate. OK, without any further adieu (that's French for "without any more delay, you inferior American bastards!")...


Quote Of the Day 2/23

"I jumped off the bed and my hurt started footing really bad."
-SuperWad


I know what you mean, Meawad. I fell off the bed and shouldered my hurt again last night.


Looking for the next best thing,
Suckworm.


Still Standing Right Here...


P.S.- Please e-mail any critiques of temporary children's literature to me personally at dfishe1@gl.umbc.edu . Thank you.