I went out to see A Bug's Life as planned yesterday afternoon. Actually, it was at exactly noon. Now the thought had occurred to me that kids were out of school because of the holiday (Martin Luther King Day), and a lot of their parents would probably take that opportunity to take them out to see a movie on their day off, and A Bug's Life is a pretty popular movie for kids. But there's no way the noon show would actually sell out, as big of a theater that I chose to go to, right? Well, guess who was wrong? On a scale from one to ten bugs, ten bugs being the highest correlation of the pleasure that would come at the relief of finally seeing the damn movie, I'll give this week's replacement, Patch Adams, 7 1/2 bugs. By the way, The Faculty got no bugs. In fact, it owes me at least two caterpillars and a dust mite.
Well, I'll do Patch Adams this week, since I came to see it the same way I came to see that last stupid piece of crap that I need not relive again. First of all, I'll warn you guys since nobody warned me. This movie is kinda sad. I saw Robin Williams in a funny nose and heard that it was supposed to be about some wacky doctor trying to cure people with laughter and assumed it would be another wacky display of mindless physical comedy like Good Will Hunting. Well, believe me you, it was a minor tear jerker. Which is actually the reason I took a few bugs away from it. The main plot was hilarious. But then they had to go and ruin it by throwing in a very obviously contrived yank on our heartstrings. It didn't have to be there. Patch Adams could have been a feel good movie without the assistance of a sub-par plot twist that left you pissed off at the writers. The other 7 and a half bugs of Robin's wacky antics far overshadow the missing 2 and a half for the awkwardly placed crying parts. It's like a warm-toned mantle overtop of a fireplace with a nice bear head hanging over it, but with one light blue candle slightly off center. Or more appropriately, it was like the last season of Roseanne or any equivalent sitcom, where they felt it necessary to include a moral in every episode. At any rate, 7 and a half bugs isn't all that bad. Maybe. I don't know, really. I just kinda made the system up myself.
Quote Of the Day 1/15/99
"What do you mean, responsibility?!?! You have one responsibility and that's to be a dickhead!! It's easy! All you have to do is make sure your head is a dick and that it's attached to your neck!"
-Robin Williams as Patch Adams
You should have heard his dissertation on the guy he called a fuckface.
Still looking for the damn bugs,
Screaming Cricket.
Still Standing Right Here...
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