99 Car Problems | Little Boy Hair Girl

Well, I got my car back from the mechanics finally. To my dismay (but not necessarily my surprise), it didn't fly. No, just kidding. It was sorta fixed, but not all perfect. And I spent $542 for repairs, when I only spent $600 for the vehicle in the beginning of the summer. Hell, it was about an oil change away from being, by definition, totaled. Well, anyway, here's what they did to the stupid thing...

Stuff they said they were going to fix and did:
A) Four wheel alignment - It's great!! The car goes the direction the steering wheel is pointed now. It makes it so much more convenient to steer the vehicle. I recommend this feature to anybody out there that is old enough to drive a car now. And now the car rattles a whole lot less. I'm a lot less worried about the front tires just shooting off at any random time without warning.

B) New muffler - The car is a lot less noisy now. And more importantly, it isn't emitting carbon monoxide into the inside of the car.

C) Three new fan belts - I no longer wake up everybody on my street with a high-pitched squeal whenever I start up my car, slow down my car, or turn a corner when it's cold or humid out. Between that and the new muffler, you can actually hear the rattling of the stupid window.

D) The partridge in the pear tree was removed.

Stuff that they said they were going to fix but didn't:
A) The stupid window. Actually, not only did they say they were going to fix it, but they said that they already had during one phone call. Apparently, they fixed the window on another Olds Cutlass Ciera. After realizing their mistake, they called and told me that they couldn't fix it. There was a part that was too rusted to deal with and I would need a new part. And that's not the worst of it! Now, the window...

Stuff that they said they'd fix, but broke instead:
A) My window - Now, not only is it not rolling up or down, but it's stuck halfway up (instead of just being open a crack) because they futzed with it. Well, I guess I was getting spoiled for that week when I had all my windows going almost all the way up. I missed the freezing cold air in my face, anyway. And my ear muffs are still in the trunk anyway.

Stuff they didn't break or fix, but are different now:
A) My brakes - For some reason, they're a lot tighter and work better now. I'm not complaining mind you, but I skidded to a halt about 20 feet before the first stop sign I tried to stop at. It's not a big deal, but it's just like learning how to walk all over again. Well, I guess it's closer to learning how to drive all over again.

Stuff they didn't fix that I didn't ask them to:
A) The low idle - I stalled out five times driving less than a mile (no joke) last night. I stalled out going down a hill at around 25 miles an hour. But, on the plus side, I can now restart the car while trying to perform a high speed merge.

B) Missing windshield wiper - I'm reminded of this feature about once or twice a month when it rains.

C) General ugliness of the vehicle - At least it doesn't have a stupid racing stripe right down the middle of it.

D) Side view mirror - The day the car was fixed, I drove it straight from the shop to work and as I was backing into a parking spot, I hit a pillar with my driver’s side mirror and knocked it right off. Now I exaggerate about a lot of things for effect, and as contrived as that sounds, it's the fucking honest truth. With that little maneuver, I think I officially totaled it.

So anyway, that's the current condition of my car. It basically rattles a lot less, and is a little bit colder now, and it cost a lot of money. And I can't see behind me at all. I should have just bought a scooter after all.

This quote comes from my dad again, because he's a funny freakin' guy. And a little weird. I was going to see one of my friends over the week that I was home. This is a girl my dad used to really like a lot. I didn't ask in what way, because the guy's my dad. It's none of my business really. And on top of being my dad, he's going out with my mom. I just didn't think it was my place. At any rate, we got into an argument about which is sexier, long hair or short hair, and here's the conversation we had...


Quote Of the Day 1/14/99

Dad: "Did you see Teresa?"
Me: "Yeah."
Dad: "Is she still hot?"
Me: "Yeah, but she cut all of her hair off."
Dad: "Oh, Dust, short hair is sexy."
Me: "No it's not. Short hair is cute, long hair is sexy."
Dad: "No, short hair is sexy. It's like you're having sex with like... a little boy."

He just lost his argument right there. And possibly a little respect. And the privilege of being left alone with Mike or Joe anymore.


He likes 'em bald anyway,
Dustin.


Still Standing Right Here...