Really Satisfying

Well, even if I do fail out of school this semester because I'm not doing my work, my student career here at UMBC will have been worth it. And that is because I finally, after five years of losing in the championship game, won indoor volleyball sixes. And it's a good thing too. Because after every year I've lost, I've taken that stupid mug (of which I had accumulated 12 before I started giving them away as prizes), and punted the thing in frustration. And now that they're glass, I imagine it would have hurt a lot more. Anyway, what made it even better was that after two straight years of losing to Tony's team (not our Tony, but evil Tony, the Asian one. He's not really evil, we just call him evil Tony because we all met "good Tony," the blond one, first. So if you ever meet another Dustin, he will be known as "evil Dustin." Unless of course you have already met another Dustin, because I cannot be known as "evil Dustin," so we make an exception to that rule and call the first Dustin "first Dustin." OK, I'm going to return to my sentence now), well, anyway, after two years of losing to evil Tony's team in the finals, we beat them. It was neat. Lots of people showed up. I fell down. They all laughed at me. So I punched them in the genitals. I like monkeys.

Alright, now that that's over, I have to explain to you my family. There's a reason I am the way I am. Our entire family has the same sort of low-brow, off the wall sense of humor that I do. I remember this every holiday (for example Thanksgiving). I sat a little ways away from my uncle Eddie, who is over 50 years old and having another kid (well, his wife is having a kid. You know what I mean). That little fact has nothing to do with what I'm about to tell you, except that there's gonna be more little annoying kids I'm going to have to chase around the table playing dinosaur within the next few years. Anyway, we were eating our huge turkey dinner (Grandma made 15 pounds of mashed potatoes), and my uncle Eddie just finished his meal. He grunts, grabs his full tummy, and casually says...


Quote Of the Day 11/14

"Boy!... I could sure go for a Snickers Bar."
-My Wacky Uncle Eddie


Most of the family laughed at this "most-bizarre thing he could think of to say" statement. My grandmother didn't see the humor in it. I can still hear her bitching to him about not realizing the true spirit of the holidays.


Still crapping mashed potatoes,
Extendo.


Still Standing Right Here...