Well, apparently, you guys haven't been getting
the messages I haven't been sending. I blame Russ, Clinton, and the greed of
the NBA.
Well, if you can think back to the last few quotes of
the day, I've been complaining about my faulty window that doesn't roll all the
way up. Actually, it doesn't really "roll" at all, but I've already
gone over that. Well, I have found a solution to the window thing. Well, I'm
defining the term "solution" very lightly here. I just recently had
somebody smash the back driver side window of my car. Apparently, mine was one
of five cars to have that happen to them that night around the loop. That's not
the most fun thing to find when you go out to your car at 3:30 in the morning.
They had opened my ashtray and there was trash all over the place, but nothing
was missing, including my Billy Joel tape, which was still on my front
passenger seat. I was almost offended. Anyway, so now I'm back to missing a
window again. That'll teach me to leave my windows up. Thankfully, Mother
Nature forgot to hit the "winter" button. It was 79 degrees earlier
this week. At this rate, I'll be doing more golfing than skiing this winter.
Strangely enough though, I'll probably still fall on my ass the same amount of
times, either way.
Well, this week's quote is the result of last week's
contest, the wittiest completion of the saying "It is better to have loved
and lost, than..." Well, anyway, I must say that most of the entries were
very bitter, which is right up my alley, and all entries involving Russ were
ignored this time, though there were more than a bushel full of those. And
though it may be better to have loved and lost than to have to use your hand
seven times a day, Kevin, there are a few better entries. And whoever said it's
better to have loved and lost than to not get laid in three months is spoiled
to the point where I want to kick her in the nads. That's right!! I'll give her
some nads, just so I can kick her in them too! Anyway, here is what the panel
of judges (me) came up with as the best non-Russ related response:
"It's better to have loved and lost then... to have had the entire surface
of your body vigorously scrubbed with a cheese grater while showering in lemon
juice...barely."
-Dan the RA (Resident Alcoholic)
I think Dan does it wrong.
Loving and losing,
Extendo.
Still Standing Right Here...
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