Fishtailing Fun

Well, I'm going to be the first person (probably not) to warn you all about driving in the snow. And here's why... First of all, I got out to my car this morning and had to wipe about 3 inches of it off my roof, windshield, hood, and back seat. That was the easy part. Then I set off to go back home. Well, all yesterday, Joe was driving like a little wus and I was making fun of him. It's just a little snow. Pansy. Well, not more than 2 minutes after I eventually started moving in the car, I was fishtailing leaving UMBC toward Giant. It was a rather harmless fishtail, as fishtails go. I was still going the direction I was supposed to be going, my tires just weren't pointed that way. No biggy. Well, then my tires finally caught, and I started going the direction my tires were going. Briefly. It just so happened that when my tires caught, they were pointed somewhat straight toward the median. So I tried to turn my tires to point in a slightly more safe direction. Like the way I was going just a few seconds earlier. My car disagreed and the back swung around and I was definitely going to hit the median. So I braced myself. (Now for those of you who don't know, this "median" is just a curb about as high as a normal curb and three or so feet wide.) Well, I hit it. And I went onto it. And I went over it. On the plus side, it slowed me down as I was heading for the woods. Also, the back of my car had swung around so that I was now facing the direction of traffic again, only not in the original direction that I had intended to go. Well, the decreased speed thankfully enabled me to regain control of the vehicle. So I pulled over and decided to see just what the bottom of my car looked like. It's got a few nicks and scratches, but other than that, it looked OK, I guess. Except for that huge dent in what could possibly be something important. Like maybe the frame of my car. But that was the worst of it. I could still drive away and everything. I didn't necessarily want to drive at this point, but I did. Also, upon collision, all the presents I bought you guys went flying out the window and got ran over. Sorry. And somehow, and most importantly, my three (two and a half) functional windows are still intact. And it was kinda fun. Hell, I'm going back to do it again!

Quote Of the Day 12/24/98

Me: "Hey, did you ever find it funny that chicken fingers are so much bigger than chicken wings?"
Craig (fellow waiter): "Well, no wonder the dumb fuckers can't fly."


Hey, y'all have a safe couple of days. And don't tell my parents about the whole jumping the median thing. I'm just gonna tell her that the same guy who broke my window came back and beat the underside of my car too.


Merry Christmas (or whatever equivalent holiday),
Elf for hire.


Still Standing Right Here...