Things Confucius Didn't Say

Well guys, I came up with this idea that's going to revolutionize the quote of the day. It's going to make the quote more fun and challenging, and at the same time, it's going to make my job a little easier. From now on, every Friday's quote is going to be the result of a contest. The contest is going to be introduced in Monday's quote (after this week, of course), and you guys will have until midnight on Friday to respond. This way, you guys that don't hang out with me as much as Russ, Joe, and Tony will have a chance to make it to the quote of the day. Show off your wit, damnit! I'm losing it in my old age. I think I've been too funny in past years. I've run out of material. I'm starting to get cramps in my funny bone.
Anyway, here's the contest: I'm going to call it "Things Confucius Didn't Say" purely because the only other name I can think of right now is "Finish the Saying." And though that is very descriptive, it's just not funny at all. OK. I'm going to start a saying, and you guys have to mail me back with your completed version of the saying. And please respond only to me, and only once. If you enter something and then come up with a really good one later in the week or something, I'll let you slide once or twice, but don't barrage me with entries or you're disqualified. OK. Now the key is to finish this saying with something clever, not the correct one. That's stupid. Well, here's what you have to work with this week:

"You can lead a horse to water, but..."

OK. Finish that saying and mail them back to me at this address by Friday at midnight. Actually, I'll give you until Sunday at midnight this week, since I came up with this kinda late. And just for future reference, you can enter "You can lead a horse to water, but Dustin has sex with small children," but it's not going to win. Good luck.


Quote Of the Day 10/6/98

(Two friends from Bennigans)

Tom (about Kentucky): "Yep. Nothing to do there but get pregnant."
Becca: "Hey! Watch it! I'm from the south."
Tom: "Sorry... Drink and get pregnant."


Well, there's always cow tipping. And they don't even need to get 15%.


Confucius of the 90s,
Mr. Whistlehead.


You can lead a horse to water, but...