Thou Shalt Not Understand

The thing that sucked most about the new haircut I have is that I forgot that I was going to get my Maryland licence finally the very day after I butchered my head like I did. I went in to finally register my car in the state of MD and I thought I had to get my MD licence before I could do that. But after I registered my car and they asked if I was going to get my MD license today, hence giving me an option. I declined on the grounds that I had recently made an ill-advised aesthetic decision that had gone wrong. It's really kind of amazing. It always looks like I just took my hat off, and I have no idea how I did it or how I can rectify it. At any rate, like I said before, I just got my car registered and all legal and all that jazz and I decided to celebrate by ramming my front right tire into a curb. At a pretty good pace too. And you wanna know how I accomplished such an idiotic task? I was busy looking at two cops parked in a parking lot on my right. Their mere  presence had distracted me from the road. I was literally looking over at those cops thinking to myself "Hey, my car is registered now. I don't have to be afraid of - HOLY SHIT!!!" That's approximately when I went up on the sidewalk at like 30-35 miles an hour. And the bastards didn't even come after me. If they hadn't been there, I would have been perfectly content to watch the direction the road bent and my car would be fine. This is why I think cops should be outlawed. The roads would be a lot safer.

This little diddy comes from deep in the heart of good ole PA. Actually, Mike submitted this one via the Quote Of the Day Application. He left a lot of it blank, but I already have his comedy background check on file, and it's been a while since I sent that application out that I'll bet that even if he could find it that it would have quite a buildup of cyberdust on it. Anyway, here's Mike's 2 and 1/2 cents:

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There is a church somewhere that is sponsoring a large ad campaign to get people to start coming back to church. They have all sorts of highway billboards that are supposedly from God. There's one in Norristown (on 202), that just says:

I LOVE YOU!
-GOD

Well, Joe and I were driving home from playing tennis, and we saw one of these signs. It said:

WHAT PART OF "THOU SHALT NOT" DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
-GOD

Quote Of the Day 10/5/99

Joe looked at it for a second, and said, "Uh, the 'thou', and the 'shalt'."
-Good Joe

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They should come out with an Ebonics version of the bible to reach out to more people. "Thou shalt not covet thy homey's bitch."


Not exactly a prophet,
Extendo.


Still Standing Right Here...