One More For the Road

Man, you wear a tan hat for a couple days...

Well, so long, farewell, auf weidersen, or something of that nature. Actually, since I doubted most of you will check your E-mail again before you leave, hello, how you doin', gutentag, or something like that. At any rate, this will be the last quote of the day for this year. And I want to say that I'll miss everybody. John ran into our room last night and gave this Chattering Chimp thing to Billy, who immediately shoved it down his pants. To this, SuperDave and Earl came in the room laughing in hysterics, and then Billy put the chimp around his neck and started jumping up and down making the chimp grunt, and then he ran down the hall with John chasing him. The reason I'm telling this story is not for entertainment value, but I just wanted everybody to know that I'm going to miss you all. Stuff like this probably won't happen next year, or ever again. I'm sure I'll stop up and visit you guys sometime, and you know where you all can find me, Billy, Suzanne, Courtney, Jason, and Carl, but I wanted to say that I had a great three (two and a half) years in the dorms with you guys. I don't know if you talk to other friends in other universities, but I think that you couldn't have gotten any luckier than we did. Not many people, in fact, no one that I'm aware of has made this many close friends at college in the last three years. Basically, thanks everybody, and I'll miss you all up in the apartments.

So anyway, John and I are trying to study in the lounge and John is trying to figure out his grade for the semester in 20th century art. He insists that since he did so well, that an F on the final won't change his grade at all. He says that if you have 75 tiny chocolate balls and throw in a 25 gram piece of shit, that it will still taste like chocolate (he later saw the flaws in his argument). Well, later on, we ordered pizza and John said that it tasted horrible, the worst pizza he's ever had, to which I tell him, "Well, John, that’s because its 75% pizza and 25% shit." He then jokingly retorts...


Quote Of the Day 5/10

"So that's what my grade is going to taste like."
-TONTO


Have a fun and safe summer, everybody.



The owner of the other half of John's brain (and by the way, I won't need it over the summer),
Dustin.


Still Standing Right Here...

Thinking Before He Thinks

Quote Of the Day 5/9

Hi. I hope you all are doing well in your respective finals (for those of us who haven't gone home already). And before I say anything else, I wanted to apologize to Kate for going off on her like I did. I started out just poking fun of her humor and... Anyway, I guess it's just been a little too long of a year. For those of you who are old hands to the quote of the day, you're probably bored with the quote by now (John) and it's just another stupid thing in your inbox. I admit, the novelty wears off after so long. Maybe it'll be fun again at the start of next year, but I'll try and make these next three messages tolerable.

This quote comes from Billy. I could get like a week's worth of quotes if I just sat and listened to him talk for an hour. Well, he had a thought one day, and almost blurted it out loud, without thinking. But he didn't. And to this, he said:

Quote Of the Day 5/9

"I have to remember to think before I think."

-Billy Taylor


And for those of you who don't know where it came from, here's part of a song I wrote back in high school:


I know many people
Have stood where I stand.
I've been searching for years now
For just one honest man.
People tell me I can trust them
And then they'll play their little games.
And then I tell them I'll be faithful
And sometimes I act the same.

But I've tried and I've tried,
And I've lied and I've lied,
Still Standing Right Here...

The Proper Way to Be Used

I'm going to try to get another quote out before I see what kind of hell that one raised. For those of you who don't know, those damn orange pricks beta us in softball the other day, hence eliminating the Good People from the playoffs. But we had a good and fun season, and I want to thank anybody who played for coming out. We may just do the same thing next year (unless some of us actually try to graduate on time). And if any of you want to live vicariously through our guys team, we play today (Thursday) at 2:30. If we win, we play tomorrow for the whole bag of noodles.

Anyway, this quote came a while back when we were discussing the age of certain people and the purchasing of certain goods unattainable to the average minor. Well, when we discovered that Steve was 22, Courtney realized that he could buy alcohol for her, to which he replied...


Quote Of the Day 5/8

"I REFUSE to be used for alcohol... just sex."
-Steve the Baritone


Popping the pimple of laziness,
Extendo.


Still Standing Right Here...

Taking Over For Laura

Hi guys. Does anybody mind if I do another quote here? Anybody want to plug any night club appearances first? And I have to apologize to Kate for the quotes recently, because I know they haven't been funny according to her sense of humor. Of course, since the only thing that Kate thinks is funny are explicit sexual references, I have no real desire to cater to her sense of humor. If you want something more along your mentality Kate, try alt.horny.newsgroups or something. But please don't pester me. I'm quite sick of the "sounds like a personal problem" and the "that's what she said" type of jokes that you consider first-rate. I'm not saying that the humor here is first-rate or anything, but at least if it's not funny, it leave people completely disgusted. And to quote you on your feeling about stupid replies:

> No one else cares whether or not people get upset, really it's not a
> priority. :)

Yes they do, Kate. Most people do. In fact, the reason most people don't want to continue getting the quote of the day is not because of the quote, but the pointless replies. And two of the very few people who have asked to get off the mailing list gave me your name. So surprise, Kate, but it's annoying. We all talk about it behind your back too. Most people see your name on the header and delete the message before reading it. I can't do that. Though I try. It's like smelling a dirty sock, or watching a bloody car wreck. I am too curious to turn away, but I know I'm just going to wind up being disgusted in the end. So Kate, if you want to reply to this, and you probably will, reply to me personally. SuperDave doesn't need or want to hear any of this, and I don't blame him. And he's not alone either. :(

Alright, I've made my peace with Buddha, now I can go on. This quote, though it may seem at first glance, is NOT a personal cut on Laura and how she sleeps around (or used to sleep around). It is actually a verbal blunder of Chris Chris' when we were playing Scruples a while ago. We were all sitting around playing when Laura had to leave. Soon afterward, Courtney walked in and was looking to play. Chris suggested that she take Laura's cards and her spot where she used to be sitting. Except he did it like this:


Quote Of the Day 5/7

"Hey, if you want to come over here on the bed, you can take over for Laura."
-Chris Chris (Dumb Chris) (King's Dominion Chris)



Catering to the masses,
Screaming Cricket.


Still Standing Right Here...

The Strike

ALRIGHT!!! I know what asphyxiation means now. You can all stop with the replies! But I do appreciate it, really. And though I appreciate the criticism, please don't misquote the Princess Bride anymore Chris.
Is everybody pumped up for the game today? The Good People play their first playoff game today. And it's against those Fart Goblins that beat Extendo in volleyball last year in the semi-finals, so we extra-don't like them. This quote came from our starting pitcher in reference to the game, and as coach, I have to say I'm happy...


Quote Of the Day 5/6

"I have added a new pitch to my arsenal . . . the strike."


Swinging for the fences (or at least that empty area right over the pitcher's head),
Extendo.



"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
-Indigo Montoya


Still Standing Right Here...
-Dustin Fisher

The Price of Protection

Oh, and by the way, I'd be interested to know what asphyxiation really does mean, just so I am aware when I'm using it wrong. Well, the Good Guys won their first playoff game and play the number two seeded SAE softball team Wednesday. Also, the Good People play the first round tomorrow against the same Butt Punks that beat us in volleyball earlier this year, Omega Alpha. So good luck everybody (myself included).

Speaking of Brad (soldier boy), who's got a fixation (Chris' word) for death, the conversation progressed to the point where Brad introduced his philosophies to the conversation:


Quote Of the Day 5/3

"Sometimes protecting your friends means killing a lot of people,"
-Soldier Boy


A foot in his mouth and his heart in his hand,
Angry Young Man (not really).


Still Standing Right Here...

Girlfriend Stand-In

Well, John and I have once again gotten ourselves into a bind. That video class that we're both in stopped giving out cameras as of last Friday, so we can't shoot any new footage. So while it's important to stop and smell the flowers, occasionally, life just sees it necessary to stick its foot up your ass if you take too long doing it. So our video class just bent John and I over its knee and committed [removed by future Dustin] again.

Well, I just got back from dinner and boy are my bowels tired!!! Anyway, Chris Augswhateverthefuckhisnameisburger was eating with us and telling us about his trip to King's Dominion yesterday. He was trying to explain why he went and slipped and, well, you know the rest...


Quote Of the Day 5/2

"Well, it was my friend's birthday party, and his girlfriend couldn't go, so he asked me instead."
-Augsy


The home run king's entertainment,
Screaming Cricket.


Still Standing Right Here...

Killer Surprise

Hi! This is really late again, but hell, I'm busy. And I will be. My deadlines are getting closer and my finals (final) is sneaking up on me. This of course, means that I will be on E-mail more often and my room will be clean. But like I said, I don't have much time.

This quote came from a conversation over dinner that I was having with Suzanne, Eddie (really tall guy), and Brad (soldier boy). If you don't know Soldier Boy, well, picture someone you know who is in the army and has a huge asphyxiation with death and killing people. Well, Brad is his younger brother. Anyway, so the conversation strays into murder, as it usually does with him, and Eddie says:


Quote Of the Day 5/1

"The stupider people think you are, the more surprised they are when you kill them."
-Eddie (the one with the hard hip)



The one with the bruised lip from Eddie's hard hip,
Extendo.


Still Standing Right Here...

Inner Beasts

Alright, I'm behind a bunch from last week, and I am disappointed with the last two I sent out. Plus, I am experiencing a complex where I'm afraid that if I don't do them promptly and if they're not good, then someone will try to steal my job.
Anyway, this quote came yesterday when Eddie, Carl, Chris, Renee (with an accent jaycee), and myself were discussing our inner beast, and the size of our inner beast, and inner beast envy and stuff like that. Well, Eddie made the claim that Renee's inner beast was bigger than all of ours and we all promptly agreed. To this, Carl said:


Quote Of the Day Sometime

"Yeah, her inner beast ate my inner beast."
-Carl (the guy missing his inner beast)


To this, Renee replied:


Quote Of the Day Some Other Time

"If I recall, Carl, your inner beast went willingly."
-Renee (the chick with Carl's inner beast)