You know what
guys? There is a significant difference between guys and girls. OK, there are
several. And I imagine there are some even I don't know about yet. But here's
one of them. Guys flirt because they like to be around a girl they find
attractive. Girls flirt to send signals. Guys have no idea what those signals
mean. Girls think guys are stupid. Guys are stupid. Girls are right. So knowing
all this, wouldn't it just be easier if girls said what they meant? They really
have no excuse for being pissed that guys aren't getting the point when they
know we're stupid. Kids are stupid too. I don't try to reason with them.
"Don't eat that pork, Jimmy. It's too red and probably raw, and it might
give you a bad case of salmonella." Instead, I stoop to their level and just
take it from them. I've learned that "Because I said so" is a valid
argument. I'm usually nice about it and give them back at least one of their
cupcakes.
Well, I didn't exactly bring that topic up for no reason, but that's not what I came here to talk about. For the first time ever this weekend, I went to a frat party. First of all, I really had nothing else to do, and second of all, I always wanted to see what one was like. Every party I ever went to in the apartments at college looked like the scene in the driver's ed video right before the crash. Well, this one was a bit more fun. I had spent two hours playing volleyball with a few guys, and when we were too tired to play, he invited me to go to this frat party. I went, and lo and behold, they had a volleyball net set up. Well, I can get along in any sort of social situation, provided volleyball is there as a catalyst. So I played for another 4 hours. It was kinda cool actually. The people there were all pretty nice. Even the guys standing in the little inflatable pool drinking with an inflatable penguin. And they want you to drink at frat parties. I went up to the host as I was leaving to thank him for letting me play volleyball at his house and he said something to the effect of "well, I'll thank you if you have a beer." So, all in all, it was a pretty cool time. Of course, if I didn't play volleyball, I don't know what I would have done. I guess I could have stood around and tried awkwardly to fit into a conversation with people I didn't know, but I just don't have the taste buds to get drunk. I no longer think it's such a moral conviction, I just hate the taste of the stuff. All beer tastes like ass. Don't let anybody tell you that one tastes like honey, because you'll drink it only to find out it tastes like ass honey. At any rate, I was standing on the volleyball court waiting for the next game to start, and this guy they called "Spanky" who was wearing a bra all night, came around in a rather drunk manor looking around and cursing to himself "Where the hell is it!?!" Being the good guest, I thought I'd try to help...
Well, I didn't exactly bring that topic up for no reason, but that's not what I came here to talk about. For the first time ever this weekend, I went to a frat party. First of all, I really had nothing else to do, and second of all, I always wanted to see what one was like. Every party I ever went to in the apartments at college looked like the scene in the driver's ed video right before the crash. Well, this one was a bit more fun. I had spent two hours playing volleyball with a few guys, and when we were too tired to play, he invited me to go to this frat party. I went, and lo and behold, they had a volleyball net set up. Well, I can get along in any sort of social situation, provided volleyball is there as a catalyst. So I played for another 4 hours. It was kinda cool actually. The people there were all pretty nice. Even the guys standing in the little inflatable pool drinking with an inflatable penguin. And they want you to drink at frat parties. I went up to the host as I was leaving to thank him for letting me play volleyball at his house and he said something to the effect of "well, I'll thank you if you have a beer." So, all in all, it was a pretty cool time. Of course, if I didn't play volleyball, I don't know what I would have done. I guess I could have stood around and tried awkwardly to fit into a conversation with people I didn't know, but I just don't have the taste buds to get drunk. I no longer think it's such a moral conviction, I just hate the taste of the stuff. All beer tastes like ass. Don't let anybody tell you that one tastes like honey, because you'll drink it only to find out it tastes like ass honey. At any rate, I was standing on the volleyball court waiting for the next game to start, and this guy they called "Spanky" who was wearing a bra all night, came around in a rather drunk manor looking around and cursing to himself "Where the hell is it!?!" Being the good guest, I thought I'd try to help...
Quote Of the Day 6/20/98
Me: "What are you looking for?"
Frat Guy: "The fucking penguin!"
The funny thing was that he said it in a tone of voice like I was an idiot for not knowing he was looking for the penguin. And he was really distressed about the penguin's current unknown whereabouts. Only at a frat party...
Love, inflatable penguins, and bad flirting habits,
Dustin.
Still Standing Right Here...
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