Is
it late in here or is it just me?
Well, hello everybody out there in e-mail land. Sorry I'm late, but it turns
out that being immortal takes up a hell of a lot of time (or was that
"immoral?"). Well, anyway, the quote of the day is back (for now),
and most of you know what that means, but for the new guys on the list, here's
what this game entails: your part is simple. You just kinda sit there and read
the quote of the day and maybe giggle and talk about it with you parents.
Whatever. My job is the hard part. Every day, I find something that somebody
said that struck me as funny or something, and I send it out to a hell of a lot
of people. So watch what you say. Any small slips of the tongue could become
public knowledge. Of course, I'm not going to be a dick and tell everybody that
you're gay if you happen to tell me that. Especially not after last year (Sorry
Billy). But if you happen to say stuff like "well, then I guess I'll have
to go ahead and whack off your Timmy," "Yeah, I guess I do have a
little head," or "There ought to be a law against women. I don't know
what it should be, but there should be one. That would be cool.", then I
may feel inclined to make it a quote of the day.
Before I get rolling like a tumbleweed through UMBC on the weekend, I have a
few favors to ask of you guys. If I have forgotten anyone that you think would enjoy
this, or even just be able to tolerate it, let me know. Also, if you don't get
anything out of this, or if you hate getting all this crappy mail in a day,
write back and I'll yank your ass off the list as fast as I yank... nevermind.
Also, if you guys happen to see a redhead with a green jacket on campus, give
her my name and tell her where I live. Even if she doesn't have a jacket on,
let her know I'm looking for her. Hell, blond, brunette, bald, send 'em my way!
OK, here goes...
Mike (Yelnick) and I were walking through ACME at about 3:00 in the morning
over the summer and having one of our usual conversations revolving around the
topic "why can't we find women" or something of the like. The normal
woman-bashing goes back and forth, and he tells me that there is a lady who
works with who asked him if he had a girlfriend or not. To this, Mike, loser
that he is, replied "no." She said "why not? What's wrong with
you?" Well, it got us to thinking. What is wrong with us? Why don't we
have girlfriends? And in the middle of ACME, right next to the lactaid, Mike
has an amazing revelation:
Quote Of the Day 10/13
"I guess it's mostly because I don't ask."
-Mike "the wise"
Sounds kinda simple, but when it comes down to it, that's the bottom line.
Brilliant, Mike. Brilliant.
Love, pink hats, and volleyballs,
dustin.
Still Standing Right Here...
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