Under the Knife

Under the Knife

I feel strange apologizing for appropriating my own mailing list, but I thought I’d let you all in on something in the off chance I haven’t complained about my life to everyone on the face of the earth yet.

About a month ago, I hurt myself participating in an activity typically reserved for people 10-15 years younger than me. As a result, I tore my rotator cuff, something I did about 10 or 15 years ago participating in activity typically reserved for people my own age. I didn’t get surgery then because I didn’t see a doctor for 3 months. Turns out that was stupid. So this time, I’m getting surgery. Tomorrow. In about 6 and a half hours. The doc says I’ll be in a lot of pain for the first couple days, but I’ll have an arsenal of weaponry in the form of little white pills to combat the throbbing. After that, I’ll be in a sling and swathe for 6 weeks (including sleep) and then I’ll be in physical therapy for 3 or 4 months. No big deal. I’ll be ready to try out for the Eagles by training camp in 2008.

So here’s kind of what I need from you. I’ll be at home watching the last season of the Sopranos on dvr and the first two seasons of Moonlighting on dvd from Tuesday through Thursday. Chances are I’ll be a little bored and finding new things I won’t be able to do without use of my right arm. Like maybe getting a pizza out of the oven, washing my hair or playing chess with myself. If any of you locals want to stop by, please do. I’ll put on some old school Bruce Willis and Cybil Shepherd for you. And I won’t make you wash my hair either. But there is an application should any of you want to…

Anyway, I gotta go get some sleep before they put me to sleep for a few hours tomorrow. What I’m saying is drop by, text me, call me, e-mail me or at least think of me tomorrow, whether in loving sympathy or joyous humiliation, I’d appreciate it. Thanks and I’ll see you all on the other side of the knife.