Well, I'm biased in both directions as far as
this film is concerned. On one hand, I always love a good sports film, but on
the other hand, I disagree with Kevin Costner getting in another baseball uniform
unless he wants to do it as a manager. He was already old when he did Field Of
Dreams, and that was 10 years ago. Actually, I just found out the man is only
44. I guess the receding hairline thing he has going on threw me for a loop. Now
that I think about it, I suppose Kevin was a perfect pick to play an aging,
on-the-blunt-end-of-retirement, burnt out pitcher. At least he would have been
better than Bob Saget or Merryl Streep, who I heard were also being considered
for the part. Personally, I think Cal Ripkin would have been the obvious
choice. Well, I like how this movie took a Jerry McGuire approach to filmmaking.
It was two completely separate movies really. One was a movie about a guy and a
girl and how they fell in love and shit. The other was an intense film about a
man's baseball career coming to an unwanted end. The plots crossed paths every
so often, but you could really make two different movies by concentrating on
one or the other or at least turning one down and the other up a few notches.
Like treble and bass, I suppose. Well, For Love Of the Game, as it was, was a
very good mix of both the treble and bass. One part chick flick, one part guy flick.
The chick I was with liked the girly part, and the guy in me liked the cool part.
Compared to Jerry McGuire, the sports part was a little more predictable than
I'd have liked, but the girly part was much more tolerable (sorry ladies, but
that "You complete me" stuff just made me think that the movie wanted
to think it was much deeper than it was). So what is For Love of the Game
about? Well, Kevin plays a pitcher toward the very end of his contract and
career. (By the way, I now like calling actors by just their first name). The
manager of Kevie's team is selling the team and trading him to San Fran or
something like that, unless he's going to retire. The Kev-man doesn't know if
he wants to do this, so the game that the movie centers around is possibly his
last game ever. The flick had some very excellently placed flashbacks, which made
up probably 85% of the film as it was. The movie is really dependent on
character development, which is good, considering it has, with few exceptions,
a relatively predictable plot. But thankfully, the movie doesn't have nearly as
many independent clauses as that last sentence. But it showed us his
relationship with players from other teams, some rookie-type guy on his team,
and his best friend, his catcher. It was a very well-thought out film with
respect to the placement of scenes and information in a very non-linear,
non-chronological film. And I think Kelly Preston wanted something too. But it
wasn't constant dirty sex like in the beginning of Jerry McGuire, so I wasn't
paying too much attention. All in all, For Love of the Game was a good film.
Very worth seeing. And it's a good date movie because you'll both like it (probably).
Upon retrospect, I'm glad I didn't go see The Sixth Sense with a chick because
then I'd probably have had to talk about it afterward instead of just sit there
in awe of how great it was. That's why I like Joe. He's always a good guy to
just sit next to in awe. But I think I've traveled away from the point I may
have been trying to make here. I'm giving For Love Of the Game 8 bugs. It's got
a predictable ending, but it is a very good screenwriting feat, nonetheless.
Alright, this quote came after a long night driving back home from Ocean City,
NJ to Bridgeport, PA by way of Cheese Quake, NY (we missed a turn somewhere
along the way)...
Quote Of the Day 9/24/99
Char's friend: "Is there a way I can get up at 6:15?"
Actual Char: "Yeah. Well..., there's a way you can set an alarm to go off
at 6:15."
I think we've all been there. And I'm pretty sure I remember him leaving sometime around noon.
For Love of the Bed,
Sleepy Cricket.
Still Standing Right Here...
Friday, September 24, 1999
Thursday, September 23, 1999
Rating My Friend's Senses of Humor
All of my friends have pretty much the same sort
of sense of humor, but there are some notable differences. I may very well get
my ass reamed for this, but I'm going with it anyway.
My Friend's Senses of Humor
Tony - Tony is definitely the wittiest of the whole group. And he's damn quick too. Tony's major flaw is that he's only funny to a select group of moderately to highly intelligent, well read folk. And a lot of it is subtle, so if you aren't listening close enough, you won't even recognize it as a joke. Basically I'm saying that if you don't think Tony's funny, it's probably because you're dumb. If comedy was like baseball, Tony would be leading the league in hits. A
Kevin (the cowboy) - Kevin is like the sleeper of the group. You really don't expect him to be as funny as he is, but he is. If slugging percentages were given out to comedians, he'd be leading the league. Kevin has a filter to get rid of most of the bad jokes he thinks of, and he's the best at saving the bad ones that still get through. But he still dresses like a cowboy and he moved to Oregon. Still, he's definitely got the best delivery of all of us. A
Mikey McConover - Mike's filter is busted. He knows it. He sometimes has to look behind him after he tells a joke, like when you're trying to convince people you aren't the one who farted. But he's best with shock value humor. Like spewing stuff from your nose kind of humor. I sound like I'm stretching but I'm really not. Mike's actually a good all around ball player. He'd probably lead the league in stolen bases and strikeouts. As in the kind that happen to him, not the kind the he happens to other people. A
Good Joe - With the possible exception of myself, I would probably say that this guy would be the next person in line to pretend to hit themselves in the balls, or actually hit themselves in the balls if the situation called for it to get a laugh. In case you don't want to guess what I meant by that statement, I'm basically saying that Good Joe will take a pratt fall and make it look good. He's more willing to go for the physical humor than most. It's when he opens his mouth that things start to go wrong. He's probably up there in the hit by pitch category. A
Well, you didn't think I was going to start a fight, did you? And the A+'s are reserved for people like Paul Reiser and Ryan Stiles. Maybe my dad. Anyway, this is a follow-up joke that describes what we think is funny around each other when we go out. This has a very good possibility of not being funny to anybody else. There, you've been warned. Anyway, this is what we think is funny at 1:30 AM on a Friday.
Quote Of the Day 9/23/99
Mike: "How long does it change you to take a shirt?"
GJoe: "Four."
Take it for what it's worth, but don't try to read anything into it.
You'll be here all night.
Going back to the minors,
DuckSkin.
Still Standing RIght Here...
My Friend's Senses of Humor
Tony - Tony is definitely the wittiest of the whole group. And he's damn quick too. Tony's major flaw is that he's only funny to a select group of moderately to highly intelligent, well read folk. And a lot of it is subtle, so if you aren't listening close enough, you won't even recognize it as a joke. Basically I'm saying that if you don't think Tony's funny, it's probably because you're dumb. If comedy was like baseball, Tony would be leading the league in hits. A
Kevin (the cowboy) - Kevin is like the sleeper of the group. You really don't expect him to be as funny as he is, but he is. If slugging percentages were given out to comedians, he'd be leading the league. Kevin has a filter to get rid of most of the bad jokes he thinks of, and he's the best at saving the bad ones that still get through. But he still dresses like a cowboy and he moved to Oregon. Still, he's definitely got the best delivery of all of us. A
Mikey McConover - Mike's filter is busted. He knows it. He sometimes has to look behind him after he tells a joke, like when you're trying to convince people you aren't the one who farted. But he's best with shock value humor. Like spewing stuff from your nose kind of humor. I sound like I'm stretching but I'm really not. Mike's actually a good all around ball player. He'd probably lead the league in stolen bases and strikeouts. As in the kind that happen to him, not the kind the he happens to other people. A
Good Joe - With the possible exception of myself, I would probably say that this guy would be the next person in line to pretend to hit themselves in the balls, or actually hit themselves in the balls if the situation called for it to get a laugh. In case you don't want to guess what I meant by that statement, I'm basically saying that Good Joe will take a pratt fall and make it look good. He's more willing to go for the physical humor than most. It's when he opens his mouth that things start to go wrong. He's probably up there in the hit by pitch category. A
Well, you didn't think I was going to start a fight, did you? And the A+'s are reserved for people like Paul Reiser and Ryan Stiles. Maybe my dad. Anyway, this is a follow-up joke that describes what we think is funny around each other when we go out. This has a very good possibility of not being funny to anybody else. There, you've been warned. Anyway, this is what we think is funny at 1:30 AM on a Friday.
Quote Of the Day 9/23/99
Mike: "How long does it change you to take a shirt?"
GJoe: "Four."
Take it for what it's worth, but don't try to read anything into it.
You'll be here all night.
Going back to the minors,
DuckSkin.
Still Standing RIght Here...
Wednesday, September 22, 1999
Rating Things I Did This Week
The coolest thing about doing this instead of
talking about myself is that I don't have to sit around and try to think of
what I did over the course of a week and try to force it to be funny like I
normally do.
Things I Did This Week
Won 3 Soccer Games - This is always a good thing. Especially when I get 2 assists from goal and we win one by scoring two goals in the last 2 minutes. But coolest of all, is that we didn't lose. A+
Lost 2 Soccer Games - You win some, you lose some. I lost these. And this was after I got kicked off the turf by the soccer team for the 3rd time in 4 days. And I also blocked a shot with my face and not only did that give me a nose bleed, but they scored off the rebound. But I still had fun. B-
Got Kicked Off the Turf (again) - For the 3rd day out of 4, the varsity soccer team bumped me off the turf. Geoff said he heard me say the F word more in that hour than he had in the first year and a half I was working with him. We made due and played up on the grass (mud) field using cones for boundaries and a goalie box. I hate our current management. D-
Went On A Date With A Redhead - A+. That's all you need to know.
Ran Out Of Brake Fluid - Well, it's taken a while, but something finally went wrong with the car. It's extremely bad, but it should make for some pretty neat stories by the end of the week. C
Well, as I walked in the door to call the redhead the night of my date, the blond I was seeing a few weeks ago called. That was an awkward conversation. It became inherently obvious that April wasn't going to be able to handle me dating other women and just be friends. It's a longer story than I have time to tell you here. Anyway, I was telling this to Good Joe over a game of tennis, and this is what he had to say...
Quote Of the Day 9/22/99
Me: "It looks like I'm going to have to get rid of April."
GJ: "Yeah. I've never been a big fan of May either."
Now August, there's a cool ass month!
Driving with my foot above the emergency brake,
Extendo.
Still Standing Right Here...
Things I Did This Week
Won 3 Soccer Games - This is always a good thing. Especially when I get 2 assists from goal and we win one by scoring two goals in the last 2 minutes. But coolest of all, is that we didn't lose. A+
Lost 2 Soccer Games - You win some, you lose some. I lost these. And this was after I got kicked off the turf by the soccer team for the 3rd time in 4 days. And I also blocked a shot with my face and not only did that give me a nose bleed, but they scored off the rebound. But I still had fun. B-
Got Kicked Off the Turf (again) - For the 3rd day out of 4, the varsity soccer team bumped me off the turf. Geoff said he heard me say the F word more in that hour than he had in the first year and a half I was working with him. We made due and played up on the grass (mud) field using cones for boundaries and a goalie box. I hate our current management. D-
Went On A Date With A Redhead - A+. That's all you need to know.
Ran Out Of Brake Fluid - Well, it's taken a while, but something finally went wrong with the car. It's extremely bad, but it should make for some pretty neat stories by the end of the week. C
Well, as I walked in the door to call the redhead the night of my date, the blond I was seeing a few weeks ago called. That was an awkward conversation. It became inherently obvious that April wasn't going to be able to handle me dating other women and just be friends. It's a longer story than I have time to tell you here. Anyway, I was telling this to Good Joe over a game of tennis, and this is what he had to say...
Quote Of the Day 9/22/99
Me: "It looks like I'm going to have to get rid of April."
GJ: "Yeah. I've never been a big fan of May either."
Now August, there's a cool ass month!
Driving with my foot above the emergency brake,
Extendo.
Still Standing Right Here...
Tuesday, September 21, 1999
Rating Ways To Get Money Illegally
Ways To Get Money Illegally
Pickpocketing - This takes a lot of skill and a lot of confidence. If you go into a pickpocket not so sure of yourself, you're gonna screw it up. And it's not like you can play it off like you didn't mean to take their wallet out of their jacket. I give props to good pickpockets. Bad pickpockets probably get their ass kicked a lot. A-
Blackmail - What a wussy way to get money illegally. People who blackmail other people usually don't even need the money, they just found something out they shouldn't have and try to get whatever advantage they can out of it. Blackmail is for pussies and capitalists. D-
Armed Robbery - People often get hurt in cases of armed robbery, and I'm not a big fan of people getting hurt, especially innocent people. And they have to be mean usually, or people just don't take them seriously. But at least they don't beat around the bush. "I have a gun. Gimme your money." No bullshit. You either have to have big balls or be stoned to be an armed robber. C+
Breaking Into A Bank or Other Place While They Are Closed To Steal Stuff - I'm sure there's probably a shorter legal phrase that means that, but you all know what I'm talking about, which is good enough for me. I can appreciate this. These people take this stuff seriously. It's like a real job. I set up inflatable pepsi cans for Ravens games, they break into banks and steal money. You need to be smart to do this stuff. And they really go out of their way to make sure nobody gets hurt. And they have neat tools that cut glass in circles. If I found out a friend was one of these people, I probably wouldn't turn him in. If I found out he was a blackmailer, I'd kick him in the nuts. A+
Quote Of the Day 9/21/99
"How long does it change you to take a shirt?"
-Mikey Khanover
Once he had already botched the coherent and grammatically correct sentence, he still decided to run with it. That was the cool part.
Embezelling and proud,
No Nipples.
Still Standing Right Here...
Pickpocketing - This takes a lot of skill and a lot of confidence. If you go into a pickpocket not so sure of yourself, you're gonna screw it up. And it's not like you can play it off like you didn't mean to take their wallet out of their jacket. I give props to good pickpockets. Bad pickpockets probably get their ass kicked a lot. A-
Blackmail - What a wussy way to get money illegally. People who blackmail other people usually don't even need the money, they just found something out they shouldn't have and try to get whatever advantage they can out of it. Blackmail is for pussies and capitalists. D-
Armed Robbery - People often get hurt in cases of armed robbery, and I'm not a big fan of people getting hurt, especially innocent people. And they have to be mean usually, or people just don't take them seriously. But at least they don't beat around the bush. "I have a gun. Gimme your money." No bullshit. You either have to have big balls or be stoned to be an armed robber. C+
Breaking Into A Bank or Other Place While They Are Closed To Steal Stuff - I'm sure there's probably a shorter legal phrase that means that, but you all know what I'm talking about, which is good enough for me. I can appreciate this. These people take this stuff seriously. It's like a real job. I set up inflatable pepsi cans for Ravens games, they break into banks and steal money. You need to be smart to do this stuff. And they really go out of their way to make sure nobody gets hurt. And they have neat tools that cut glass in circles. If I found out a friend was one of these people, I probably wouldn't turn him in. If I found out he was a blackmailer, I'd kick him in the nuts. A+
Quote Of the Day 9/21/99
"How long does it change you to take a shirt?"
-Mikey Khanover
Once he had already botched the coherent and grammatically correct sentence, he still decided to run with it. That was the cool part.
Embezelling and proud,
No Nipples.
Still Standing Right Here...
Monday, September 20, 1999
Rating My Nicknames
Well, apparently all those quotes I sent to you
guys last week got lost in Floyd and are currently spread out all around
Connecticut and Quebec now being read by tons of non-paying non-subscribing
northernly folk. I'll bet the Canadians don't even understand it either. Well,
I'll have to sum up everything I said last week. First off, I want to try to critique
things that the Brunching Shuttlecocks wouldn't do so I don't get accused of
plagerization. So here's a topic I'll bet they haven't gotten to yet:
My Nicknames
Extendo - I've gotten more mileage out of this nickname than I did out of my last car. It's the name of my intramural volleyball team, it's part of my password for almost everything, and I was able to pick up a girl at the volleyball house because I was wearing a jersey with the name printed on the back. That relationship didn't last very long. Apparently, she was looking for an Enduro. A
Nipples - I don't much care for this nickname. I made it up as a sort of defense of my own pride. I decided to exploit my own aesthetic defect (having unusually large nipples) before anyone else to avoid getting a worse nickname for it. Kinda like how I call my "attache" a purse to suck all the fun out of Tony teasing me about carrying around a purse everywhere I go. Don't ever call me this. D
Air Fisher - This nickname kinda died out a while ago. It sounds cocky to the layman, but once that layman finds out I got the nickname bowling, it's OK. I have a tendency to loft (hurl) the ball about 5-6 feet in the air before it lands on the lane when I bowl. But it's not very catchy. C
Screaming Cricket - I got this name from a good friend when we were making Cherokee Indian nicknames. He gave me Screaming Cricket and I gave him Migrating Duck. Mine stuck. His didn't and I don't think he minds. A-
The Quorax - I really like the name and it's very applicable. "Quorax, protector of the quotes." But I try not to delve into the area of self flattery that often and a nickname just isn't the same when you give it to yourself. Just ask Prime Time or Neon Deion or whatever he wants to be called now. B-
Mr. Whistlehead - I love it. I got it from one of my kids the first year I worked at day camp because I always wore a whistle on a band around my head. So it definitely has a cool origin. Now let's analyze the actual name. If you don't know where it comes from, it sounds really random and funny. I went so far as to name a film that I made about a loser of a character (I casted Proz to play the part) Mr. Whistlehead. I might be able to get the 18-25 yr old chicks with "Extendo" on my back, but a Whistlehead jersey would probably have the 8-12 yr old crowd turning their heads a good 98 degrees. A+
Dr. Hustle - OK, no one has ever called me this, but if you guys started, I really wouldn't mind. There might me a Quorax tote bag in it for you too. No rating.
Well, when I first met Drew, we gave each other those Indian nicknames I mentioned above. Nick also wanted to be part of out clan. The following day, we were sitting outside waiting for X-Country practice to start and we were trying to think of names. Usually, when a child is born in that culture, they name the children after the first thing they see, like "Running Brook," or "Two Frogs Trying To Mate On A Small Rock In The Middle Of That Running Brook" and stuff like that. So as I said this, we looked up to see what was in front of us. Robyn Gaylon, a real sexy cheerleader just happened to be standing right in front of us bending over with her short-ass skirt on to stretch or whatever. We didn't care why. Nick said to me without turning his head away "Dustin, I have my name." I smiled, and also not looking away, I replied "What's that, Nick?"
Quote Of the Day 9/20/99
"Sprouting Weasel"
-Sprouting Weasel
This is actually remarkably similar to how "Extendo" came about.
A rose is still a rose,
Mr. Whistlehead.
Still Standing Right Here...
My Nicknames
Extendo - I've gotten more mileage out of this nickname than I did out of my last car. It's the name of my intramural volleyball team, it's part of my password for almost everything, and I was able to pick up a girl at the volleyball house because I was wearing a jersey with the name printed on the back. That relationship didn't last very long. Apparently, she was looking for an Enduro. A
Nipples - I don't much care for this nickname. I made it up as a sort of defense of my own pride. I decided to exploit my own aesthetic defect (having unusually large nipples) before anyone else to avoid getting a worse nickname for it. Kinda like how I call my "attache" a purse to suck all the fun out of Tony teasing me about carrying around a purse everywhere I go. Don't ever call me this. D
Air Fisher - This nickname kinda died out a while ago. It sounds cocky to the layman, but once that layman finds out I got the nickname bowling, it's OK. I have a tendency to loft (hurl) the ball about 5-6 feet in the air before it lands on the lane when I bowl. But it's not very catchy. C
Screaming Cricket - I got this name from a good friend when we were making Cherokee Indian nicknames. He gave me Screaming Cricket and I gave him Migrating Duck. Mine stuck. His didn't and I don't think he minds. A-
The Quorax - I really like the name and it's very applicable. "Quorax, protector of the quotes." But I try not to delve into the area of self flattery that often and a nickname just isn't the same when you give it to yourself. Just ask Prime Time or Neon Deion or whatever he wants to be called now. B-
Mr. Whistlehead - I love it. I got it from one of my kids the first year I worked at day camp because I always wore a whistle on a band around my head. So it definitely has a cool origin. Now let's analyze the actual name. If you don't know where it comes from, it sounds really random and funny. I went so far as to name a film that I made about a loser of a character (I casted Proz to play the part) Mr. Whistlehead. I might be able to get the 18-25 yr old chicks with "Extendo" on my back, but a Whistlehead jersey would probably have the 8-12 yr old crowd turning their heads a good 98 degrees. A+
Dr. Hustle - OK, no one has ever called me this, but if you guys started, I really wouldn't mind. There might me a Quorax tote bag in it for you too. No rating.
Well, when I first met Drew, we gave each other those Indian nicknames I mentioned above. Nick also wanted to be part of out clan. The following day, we were sitting outside waiting for X-Country practice to start and we were trying to think of names. Usually, when a child is born in that culture, they name the children after the first thing they see, like "Running Brook," or "Two Frogs Trying To Mate On A Small Rock In The Middle Of That Running Brook" and stuff like that. So as I said this, we looked up to see what was in front of us. Robyn Gaylon, a real sexy cheerleader just happened to be standing right in front of us bending over with her short-ass skirt on to stretch or whatever. We didn't care why. Nick said to me without turning his head away "Dustin, I have my name." I smiled, and also not looking away, I replied "What's that, Nick?"
Quote Of the Day 9/20/99
"Sprouting Weasel"
-Sprouting Weasel
This is actually remarkably similar to how "Extendo" came about.
A rose is still a rose,
Mr. Whistlehead.
Still Standing Right Here...
Monday, September 13, 1999
Rating Colors of the Rainbow
Well, I've decided to do something neat this week. Every Friday, I do a movie review. That's generally where I feel most comfortable, because I can always think of a movie I've seen and critique it. I'm never going to have a shortage of subject material, whereas trying to think up something I did in the course of a day and trying to force it to be funny can be difficult 5 times a week. Or even 4 times every other week. My life really isn't that exciting. Sorry. So I got it in my head that I didn't have to stop at just movies. I could critique anything I wanted to. You may have heard of the Brunching Shuttlecocks, an internet comedy group (www.brunching.com
Colors of the Rainbow
Red - Great color to start with. It's light hearted (with the exception of the fact that it's occasionally associated with blood) and it's a lot of people's favorite color. And everyone knows red. It's a good, wholesome family color. A
Orange - I never much cared for orange. But then again, I wore a pink hat for over 8 years. And I might not know the strict rules of not wearing plaid with stripes, or matching belt to socks, or whatever it is, but I do know a little about hue, and orange and neon pink would have been a gang war waiting to break out of my wardrobe. C-
Green - Green is cool. Very earthy. A girl in a McDonalds drive-thru told me that she thought my green hat matched my eyes. So now green is my favorite color and I wear that hat all over the place. And green was also the "G" in "Roy G. Biv." I used to give Roy cool middle names like Galloway, Gaztak, or Goo. Green is also the perfect segue from yellow to blue, as the ziplock corporation taught us years ago. A
Indigo and Violet - Maybe it's because I was raised in a poor household, but these two colors were both called "purple" when I was being brought up. And there was no difference between them. And I might be dating myself here, but my childhood predates the great Crayola expansion colors. When I was in kindergarten, the popular kid was the kid with the 32 set with a plastic cone they tried to pass of as a "crayon sharpener" in the back. Burnt Sienna and Salmon gave me a double take back in the day. Now they have crap like Jungleberry Groove and Espresso Mochata. They've probably shot straight past indigo and violet to Mercury Subterfuge. I still don't know the difference. I think they should have both been categorized as purple. Of course, that would give Roy a last name with no vowels in it. But who needs a voweled last name with a middle name like Gondwanaland? C+
I was playing fake poker for imaginary money with my distant relatives this past weekend. My second cousin once removed Earl is quite a witty character. As the entire table was "betting," he was paging through the deck of cards very obviously. My first cousin twice removed (his aunt) yelled at him...
Quote Of the Day 9/13/99
Joyce: "Hey! Are you cheating over there?!?"
Earl: "No. I'm just looking for a better card."
I think Earl plays different than most people.
Leading the great purple revival,
Dustin Gaztak Fisher.
Still Standing Right Here...
Friday, September 10, 1999
Review of Mystery Men and Sixth Sense
Review of Mystery Men and Sixth Sense
Well, I saw a bunch of movies since I did my last movie review. I'm going to review two of them today. One gets 11 bugs, and one gets one bug. One had a boy who could see ghosts, and one had a guy named "The Shoveler." One is currently waiting for the two week shock value period to be over so it can officially be named my new favorite film, and one has no ascernable cinematic value at all. One is like a Twilight Zone on an $80 million budget, and the other has a guy that farts on people for a theoretical laugh. One had me leaving the theater in tears, and the other had me leaving the theater in tears.
Mystery Men was awful. I was 85% sure it would be, but I was so happy to be out of the freaking hurricane, I didn't care what movie I was watching. And trust me, being cold and wet had no effect on how bad I thought this film was. You could be dry, warm, eating an Entemens Double Chocolate Cake and getting a Kathy Ireland massage and still see that this movie sucked. I suppose it was supposed to be a farce of an action movie, but it didn't make it as a comedy. I don't think I ever actually laughed. I thought about it twice, and I recognized their attempts to force humor, but I don't think I ever experienced the actual involuntary reflex itself. The idea was great, but the plot was silly, the acting wasn't even all that good (and I love Jeanine G.), and the little one-liners that are designed to make action movies funnier just weren't funny at all. I think it might have even been a better film if the boom mic was in every other shot. And the guy from Fargo just randomly had a black family. Now, it's OK that he did, but I really feel like maybe one line of explanation was necessary. I didn't get it. There was one decent scene when the 3 main characters were discussing Captain Amazing or whatever he was, and drawing parodied parallels to Superman. That was sorta funny. And the fact that Captain Amazing had sponsors was a good poke at corporate America.
Together, those gimmicks mustered up a lonely lousy bug in my book. A Superbug!!!, but just one bug nonetheless. Now Sixth Sense blew me away. I expected it to be good the way everybody I knew was talking about it, but I didn't think it would be that good. And I'm going to have a tough time talking about it without giving any important information away to the people who still haven't seen it. So you're just going to have to trust me. If you haven't yet seen it, don't associate with anyone who has. Don't watch a trailer of the film. Don't fall asleep, do any homework, or see, smell, taste, hear, or touch anything until you see this movie. Don't even pass go. It's the best way, trust me. Then you can go about the rest of your life as you normally would have. If you feel the urge to bring me a chocolate milkshake in the meantime, I suppose I'll let you do that too. And I always thought having a sixth sense would be cool. Not if it's this one. Of course, I always thought my sixth sense would be like the sense of flight or seeing through clothes. At any rate, I'm giving this film that I refuse to say anything about 11 bugs. I wasn't sure if I was going to ever go above 10 bugs, but Sixth Sense is better than A Bug's Life. In a very different way, I might add. I had no other choice. Go see it. Now!
Well, I don't actually have a quote about either film to use, but I can almost have a segue. There are few films I would actually give 10 bugs or more to, and one of them is the topic of today's quote. I have mp3s. Upwards around 900 of them. Of everything possible. I have one mp3 2 seconds long of a quote from Back to the Future. Somewhere between 2Pac and 38 Special, Geoff heard it come out of my speakers...
Quote Of the Day 9/10/99
Geoff: "Did somebody just say 121 jiggawatts?"
Me: "Actually, somebody just said 1.21 jiggawatts."
Geoff: "Oh. I usually round up."
I guess he rounds up to the nearest 121.
Searching for a much less scary 7th sense (and a much less sucky superhero flik),
Captain Sarcastic.
Still Standing Right Here...
Wednesday, September 8, 1999
Long Fence University
Long Fence University
Well, they decided to do more construction on UMBC's campus today. I didn't think they could find any more room. They'regoing to level the golf range (it’s about time) and make a looooonnnnnng grasspractice field out of it where people who play real sports can practice. I justcan't wait until the day when the entire University is completely saturated in construction.We'll be building piles of dirt out of other piles of dirt and tearing downbuildings before they're finished being built. I've already started tellingpeople that I'm in charge of intramurals for Long Fence University. And they'reofficially changing the name of the Loop to Stop Sign Central. When I graduateda year and 4 months ago, you could drive around the loop and only have to stopat two stop signs and a light. If it was red, of course. Otherwise, you'relikely to cause an accident. Well, today, you would need to (or at least you'resupposed to) stop at seven stop signs and that same light. Pretty soon they'regoing to lose perspective and start putting them up where there aren't even intersections.Once they start doing that, I'm leaving LFU permanently. But I'm just going todrive around the thing without stopping until I get pulled over first. That'llshow 'em!
This quote came from a pool party I went to with Tony. Tony and I were in thepool making conversation with (flirting with) this cute girl who mentioned thather sister was going to school for theater (or music or something; I was busylooking at her boobs) in Boston. The following conversation ensued...
Quote Of the Day 9/8/99
Me: "Is she going to BU?"
Tony: "No, she's going to be herself."
Get it? BU=be you! See, it's funny now, isn't it?
Loving Velveeta's logo,
Rick Hemarten.
Still Standing Right Here...
Tuesday, September 7, 1999
Water Water Everywhere
Water Water Everywhere
A while ago I criticized the saying "whenit rains, it poors" because of the fact that if this was true, there wouldbe no basis of comparison, thus making one of the terms void. (It made sense,trust me.) Well, if it turns out that the author of that saying was FromMaryland, my sincerest apologies go out to him for my previous comments. Infact, I believe the saying should read "when it rains, it poors, and itdoes it often." Here's what Maryland weather thinks is funny to us. Itdoesn't rain for three very hot long months of summer, sending Maryland into a droughtwarning with serious water restrictions for over a month. Then it decides thatit's had fun long enough and it lets loose like a guy who's been holding in apiss through an entire opera. A 3-month-long opera. Last Thursday, the drought warning was lifted. Last Friday, there was a flood warning. Does this seem likea contradiction on some level to anybody else out there? Just checking...
Quote Of the Day 9/7/99
"That's not your phone, that's the monkeys."That's when I tuned into the conversation between Gary and his secretary. Apparently,"I'm A Believer" sounds like Gary's phone when it's ringing. It wasfunnier before I knew what it meant.
-Heidi
Building a make-shift ark,
Mr. Cubit.
Still Standing Right Here...
Monday, September 6, 1999
Revenge of My Dad
Today is a very important day in Dustin history for two reasons. For one, it's my parent's anniversary, which was a very important step in my conception. Secondly, it's my dad's birthday, a hands-down much more imporant step in my conception. Happy birthday, dad. He turned 33 for the 18th year in a row. To help him celebrate, I decided to take the weekend off, drive back up to Pennsylvania, and play tennis with Joe. Actually, my parents and I went to the movies together for the first time in a while. Deciding what to see turned into a game in and of itself. (I've never typed "in and of itself" before. Is that really how you spell it?) I wanted to see Outside Providence, mom wanted to see The Muse, and dad wanted to see The Thirteenth Warrior. Dad wound up winning when he remembered that it was his birthday and he needn't pretend to have to care about our interests anymore...
I paraphrased a little bit there, but that's what he meant, what are you, deaf?
Still Standing Right Here...
Quote of the Day 9/6/99
"Hey wait a minute! It's my birthday! I don't have to feel guilty about dragging you to see a movie I want to see. I've spent an entire year putting up with you guys, I've earned the right to make you miserable for an hour and a half."
- Mr. Dad
I paraphrased a little bit there, but that's what he meant, what are you, deaf?
Playing pool with a rope,
Mr. Wifflehead.
Still Standing Right Here...
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